One Last Wish
by GrimFWaters
Summary: Pre-Twilight. A dying girl with no friends or family tells her doctor, Dr. Cullen, her one wish: She wants to be a part of a family for one day. This story will explain why the Cullen family acts the way they do around humans, particularly Bella. Canon Pairings. OC. Rated T just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

I was lying in bed, as usual, when Dr. Cullen knocked on the open door and entered my hospital room. He wasn't my usual doctor, but he had come in to talk to me a few times. I smiled at the (impossibly) handsome doctor, until I noticed his expression. He hadn't spoken a single word, but I knew what he had come to tell me.

"Please, Dr. Cullen, don't say it. I already know and hearing it will only make it worse." My voice was surprisingly steady as I spoke. I wiped away a single tear before it could fall down my cheek and kept my chin up. I was dying. I couldn't say that is was a surprise. I had been sick and in hospitals so much that I always knew that my time spent living wouldn't be long. There was no cure for cancer, and my heart problems were what they were. I was sitting alone in a hospital room, dying. I was sixteen, with no family, and I was dying. I couldn't help but to laugh. It was too funny, too ironic. Dr. Cullen stood there, looking as close to perfect as a human could get, unsure of what to do. So I kept laughing. I didn't know him well, but I knew he was rich. I knew he loved his job. I knew he had a big family he loved more than anything. I knew he was gorgeous. I knew he had everything I didn't. I laughed so hard my stomach and throat hurt. When I finally began to calm down he sat down in the chair by my bed the people from the state often sat in when they visited me or a nurse who would look at me with pity. "I am sorry Dr. Cullen. Go ahead and do your job. Give me my expiration date, tell me about resting peacefully or heaven or whatever you believe in, and tell me how I should spend my last bit of time alive." He nodded solemnly.

"Well you know the cancer has spread and…" I interrupted him.

"Excuse me Dr. Cullen, but I already know I am dying and there is no stopping it. So if you would skip over the details of how and just give me my sentence, I would appreciate it." He smiled at me, but I could not tell if he was amused by my indifference or if he pitied me inside.

"As you wish. I cannot give you an expiration date, but if I had to estimate I'd say you have about three weeks. I do believe in miracles, I have seen them happen with patients in far worse condition than you. Also, I am supposed to give you this." He handed over a few sheets of paper. "It is an application to the Make a Wish Foundation. Do you know about them?" He asked. I had to fight the urge to roll my eyes.

"Yes, they grant the dying wish of sad children. You want to know what I wish for Dr. Cullen?" I asked him.

"I must say I do not know, but I can imagine." I pursed my lips and nodded.

"I wish that I could spend one day being a part of a family. A mother and a father. Maybe even some siblings or pets. I don't care about the details. For one day I want to be loved. Even if I know it is all pretend and short-lived." I couldn't help but to chuckle a bit. Short-lived. My life was going to be short-lived. I took a deep cleansing breath to calm myself and clear my head. "I am sorry I am putting all of this on you. You are not even my Doctor. I bet you are just the doctor who was on call when my blood work was done. Sorry you had to be the bearer of bad news. Tell your kids I said 'good-bye' when you go home, please." He seemed surprised.

"Do you know any of my children?" He asked.

"Not personally, but I saw them at school the couple of weeks I was able to go before I got sick again. I have pretty much been in this hospital since the first month of my sophomore year, but I had a class with Rosalie and Jasper and once sat next to Alice and Edward at a school assembly. I saw Emmett in the halls. None of them probably even know my name or will remember me. I didn't have any friends when I moved here, and I obviously don't have family around. I just… I want to say goodbye to somebody. So would you please pass on my message? They seemed like decent kids." I paused for a moment. "Tell your wife I said 'We will meet someday, in the beyond that comes after life'." I laughed and so did he. "I want people say goodbye to. My parents gave me up as soon as I was born. I lived in multiple foster homes and group homes, but never made any friends. No one is going to remember me ten years from now. I know and accept that the same way I have already accepted my death."

"I will relay your messages, I promise. But do I get one as well?"

"Oh! I can't leave you out, oh doctor I have met maybe three times! What a vital role in my life you have played! I can't imagine not seeing you anymore. So my message to you is simple: though I know it will be terribly difficult, try to go on without me." I was dying. There was nothing I could do to stop it, so why should I let it bring me down? I was honestly not feeling too bad; I guess I had it better than most dying people. Other than the baldness, always chapped lips, the throwing up, and the aches and pains, I normally didn't feel that awful. I took another deep breath, pushing back my emotions and thoughts of dying.

"It won't be easy, but I will do my best. Honestly though, Miss Jones, you should not give up on hope." He took my hand in his cold one and squeezed it once before letting it go. I was used to the cold hands of doctors, so his icy touch was nothing unusual.

"One, the name my first set of foster parents gave me is Iona, you can call me that. It is what everyone else does. Second, I try to keep low expectations. That way I can't be disappointed. I never expected to have a family, and once I got sick I never expected to get better. I am glad that I don't have to deal with the disappointment of dying alone now… Don't look at me like that. I don't want you to pity me. Nobody adopts kids that are just going to die. I was born with my heart issues and I have known I have cancer since I was ten. But I am here for right now, so don't look at me like that. You could get hit by a bus on the way home." I stuck my tongue out at him. He really did seem too young to be a doctor, but too old to be so good at his job. I was just glad he didn't bring a grief counselor with him.

"Alright Iona, I must be on my way. I have other patients to attend to. I will assume you do not want a grief counselor to counselor to come in here?" I shook my head violently at the suggestion. "If you need anything, at anytime, just tell one of the nurses. Whether I am on-call or not, whether it is a doctor you need or just someone to talk to, do not hesitate to have someone call me." With that being said he left me alone. I couldn't help but wonder if he was so kind to all of his patients. Maybe just the ones he felt the most sorry for. I hoped he would actually mention me to his family. Just so some people will realize my existence. I grabbed the remote control and flipped the cannels until I found a rerun of What a Wonderful Life. I thought it was strange that they were playing it in the summer, but watched it anyways. After a while food was brought in and I forced myself to eat the disgusting hospital food. Of course ten minutes later I threw it up. When I was done gagging and coughing and throwing up, I somehow managed to brush my teeth and make it back to my bed. It had grown indescribably more comfortable since twenty minutes ago. I tried to sleep but the room was spinning too fast. Soon after the vomiting party my body decided to give me, a (mean) nurse came in and gave me pain medication and medication for my nausea. I was out like a light within a few minutes, thankfully.

_I was sitting in a small church of some sort, alone. There was only a man in some kind of robes with is head bowed in prayer over a casket, but I could not hear anything. Th_e _silence was eerie. I slowly got up from my seat on the pew and walked over to the casket. The man didn't even notice my presence. I peered into the casket and screamed. I was in the casket. I couldn't hear my screams, which scared me and caused me to scream louder. Still nothing. I looked around the room frantically, but other than the priest, it was empty._

Something cold was on my arm, shaking me.

"Iona, wake up! It is just a dream!" A high pitched voice ordered. My eyes flew open and I took in my surroundings. A hospital room, not a church. The erratic beeping of my heart monitor told me I needed to calm down. I took a deep breath, as I always did, and pushed all the negative emotions and thoughts away. Once the beeping was steadier I looked at the person who had awoken me. I recognized her instantly but was confused to see Alice Cullen standing in my hospital room. Next to her was an equally beautiful, but slightly older woman I could only assume to be Dr. Cullen's wife.

"Um hello. Please excuse me but why are you in my room?" I asked them. I glanced at the clock to see it was only seven in the morning.

"My name is Esme Cullen; my husband is one of your doctors. He told me when he came home from work last night that Iona Jones said to tell me 'that we will meet someday, in the beyond that comes after life'. I was immediately perplexed and told him I did not know who he was talking about. He went on to tell me that a girl in the hospital wanted someone to say goodbye to, and then relayed your goodbye to our children." I slowly nodded.

"I am sorry, but I still do not understand. Why are you here?" I questioned them. Alice spoke this time.

"Carlisle is not allowed to talk about patients due to confidentiality and what-not, but he said he felt it was alright to tell us that you were dying and you had no family. Esme wanted to come and meet you last night, but we didn't want to wake you up. So, we decided to come before I have to go to school this morning. And of course I remember you. You gave up your seat so I could sit next to Edward at the school assembly last year, and offered me your jacket even though your teeth were chattering in the cold old gym. Carlisle wanted to tell us about your wish, but said we should ask you about it because he did not know if you would be okay with sharing it. He said we could help you somehow. So will you tell us?" The tiny girl spoke so quickly I could barely keep up with her. Her mother, who she apparently called by name, placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled gently at me. No pity was in their eyes, which I liked. I was still embarrassed that they would come to see me. They probably felt guilty.

"I need to use the bathroom, but after that we can talk." I informed them. I pushed aside the rough hospital blankets and slowly got out of bed, careful of the tubes and wires attached to me. Mrs. Cullen offered me her hand, but I stubbornly refused. I was dying, not disabled. Using the pole my IV was hanging from to steady myself I went into the bathroom and closed the door behind me.

After using the bathroom and washing my hands I leaned against the wall. I had visitors, actual visitors. People who had cared enough to come and see me. They thought they could help me with my wish. I was not thinking clearly when I spoke to Dr. Cullen. Obviously I had given him the wrong impression. He was young and probably hadn't dealt with many dying hormonal teenage girls. I should have kept my big mouth shut. Of course I wanted a family, but I wanted a lot of things. I wanted to live. I wanted to be in love. I wanted to be kissed. I wanted to drive a car. I wanted to see the ocean. I wanted to be able to eat a decent meal and then not throw it up. I wanted to die of old age. There was no use in making wishes. Wishing and hoping only lead to disappointment. For probably the millionth time in my life I took a deep breath and shoved all the negatives deep down inside of me somewhere impossible to find. It was what one overly observant doctor called my "unhealthy coping mechanism". I opened the door and slowly got back in my bed. I didn't really care that two (almost) strangers just saw my underwear or that I was not wearing a bra. I didn't like hospital gowns anymore than the next girl, but I got sick often and it was too difficult to change in and out of clothes. Hospital gowns were much simpler.

"Do you need anything?" Mrs. Cullen asked sweetly. There were so many answers I could give her. So many rude remarks I could make, but I chose not to.

"No." I answered simply instead and plastered a fake smile on my face. "It is nice to meet you. I know little about you, only that you are Dr. Cullen's wife and the mother of Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, Alice, and Edward." This was a small lie. I knew that every female nurse despised her existence, but my social skills were lacking and I was unsure if that was the kind of thing one should or shouldn't joke about. I was weighing the options of bringing it up when a nurse walked in. She gave me more medication with a scowl on her face. Her long red hair was pulled back in a ponytail, but was still very pretty. She was a nice looking girl, but I knew that she had attempted to flirt with Dr. Cullen and failed. My room was right by the nurses' station so I got to hear all the hospital gossip and drama. It was better than a soap opera. She turned to look at Mrs. Cullen.

"Visiting hours start at nine." She said harshly.

"My wonderful husband, Dr. Cullen, gave me permission to come here with my children whenever Iona wanted me to be here. So, until she tells me to leave, I will be here." I laughed at the expression on the nurse's face. She was so frustrated and couldn't do a thing about it. My laughter wasn't helping but I honestly didn't care. She stomped out of the room and I continued laughing. Alice giggled too.

"I would recommend kissing Dr. Cullen in front of the nurses' station or something, because they are all convinced that your marriage is extremely unhappy and that is why Dr. Cullen works so many hours. The way he constantly rejects them, telling them he has a lovely wife waiting at home for him, proves to me that he just is dedicated to his job and his family. But that is just my opinion. I don't know what goes on behind closed doors." I felt like I was digging a hole deeper and deeper with no way out. Me and my stupid big mouth. "I mean, I am sure that you are happily married… unless you are not then I am sorry. I just wanted to try and help you. Maybe you are okay with the nurses… I-I mean that…" Me and my terrible social skills. This is the result of spending most of your time in a hospital bed with no one to talk to but yourself. Thank goodness Mrs. Cullen noticed my struggle to try and fix whatever I had said.

"Maybe I will take your advice and show them I am happily married. You would think the fact that we have adopted five children would convince them wouldn't you?" She smiled and I felt the blush in my cheeks slowly disappearing.

"You would think so." I barely finished my sentence before Alice nearly shouted.

"What is your wish?" She asked bouncing up and down. I thought about how I should answer her question.

"I was really just rambling yesterday. I didn't think Dr. Cullen would take it seriously. I tend to put my foot in my mouth often. I was just a bit… overwhelmed and emotional and the teenage girl hormones kicked in and I just couldn't stop talking. What I really wish is that I had kept my mouth shut." Alice did not look convinced.

"You can tell us what it is! We are great at keeping secrets. And whatever it is, Carlisle is convinced that we can help you, if you let us." I squeezed my eyes shut. Deep breath.

"I basically told him that I wanted to have a family for one day. People who loved me and who I loved and blah blah blah. I was just upset about the whole expiration date thing. I always knew I was going to die young, but getting an expiration date was still… a big deal. I am okay now though." I looked up from my lap to meet their eyes. There it was- pity. I tried to hide my anger. I had asked for this, so I would have to deal with it. "Mrs. Cullen, Alice, I was not asking anything from Dr. Cullen. If it sounded that way I owe him an apology." I tried to make up for the misunderstanding. There was an indescribable expression on Alice's face. Her eyes seemed blank but her lips were curved into a smile. She looked a little crazy. I fought the urge to wave my hand on front of her eyes or poke her.

"Please, call me Esme. You do not owe Carlisle and apology at all. He knew that you were not asking anything of us. That does not mean that we do not want to make your wish come true though." I sighed and shook my head.

"Even if by some miracle you found a family that was willing to pretend to love me for a day, I can't leave the hospital. I am a ward of the state, so they dictate where I can and can't go. Plus the fact that I am hooked up to so many tubes and wires." I told her honestly. "I have survived the previous sixteen years without a family. I will make it through the next three weeks." I thought of my nightmare. A funeral with no one in attendance. Not even my birth family. Would anyone inform them of my death? I knew of most of my mother's, Sarah Jones', family tree. She had a brother and a sister. I was unsure if they had any children but I knew that my grandfather, Henry, was still alive. I didn't know if anyone was aware of my existence. None of my family had ever made contact with me. After a deep breath I focused on the two women in front of me.

"Your doctor could give you permission to come home with us! Carlisle could take a day off so he would always be nearby if anything bad were to happen. But I have a feeling that things will go smoothly, happily even!" Alice was enthusiastic but I was pessimistic.

"Dr. Cullen is not my doctor. Dr. White is. And Dr. White won't even let me leave this room, let alone go home with Dr. Cullen." I told them.

"If you ask for Carlisle to be your doctor he can be! They can't say no because you are not related to him and you do not know him or any of us really. Plus Carlisle has some favors he could call in. His boss owes him big for something, so I am sure that we can work this out." Alice was bouncing up and down in her seat with excitement.

"If you want to do this, she means. We would never try to force you to do anything you feel uncomfortable with." Esme reassured me. I thought through it.

"So what you are saying is that you would take me to your home, pretend I have lived there my whole life, pretend that you love me, and then bring me back to the hospital in time for me to get my nightly meds and got to sleep?" I decided not to beat around the bush.

"If that is what you want, then yes." Esme answered before Alice could.

"I don't want to make things difficult for you. I mean, you don't even know me. Why are you doing this?" I asked her.

"We are doing this because you are good girl and you deserve it." If anyone else had said it I wouldn't have believed them, but something in Esme's amazing honey colored eyes screamed that she could not tell a lie. She was an honest person, and could not tell a lie like that. A smile slowly splayed across my face.

"I would like very much to be a part of your family." I said in almost a whisper. She took my hand in hers and squeezed it. I could tell I was running a fever because both her and Alice's hands felt like ice on my warm ones.

"I have to leave for school, but I will come back later to talk!" Alice jumped out of her seat and pecked my cheek. My eyes were wide as saucers as she gracefully skipped out of the room with a million thoughts going through my head. These people were willing to pretend to be my family for a day. They seemed to actually care at least a little about me. And for the first time in my entire life, someone had kissed me. Not one of my foster parents or siblings or anyone I could remember had ever showed me that kind of affection. I didn't think of it at all in a romantic way, but the way someone would kiss their sister. I had only received a few hugs that I could remember.

"Are you alright, dear?" Esme asked.

"Um… Yes. Yes I am. Just overwhelmed by your acts of kindness, I guess." Esme smiled at this and continued to hold my hand in hers.

"We aren't doing anything extraordinary." She tried to make it seem like it wasn't a big deal.

"Yes, you are. More than I can ever repay you for." I wanted to express my gratitude, but did not know how. Instead I asked her to tell me about her husband and children.

"Why don't you tell me what you already know about us, and then I will tell you more from there?" She asked softly.

"I don't know much. I know that Emmett and Alice almost always have a smile on their faces. I think that Edward is more depressed than he lets anyone see, but he only hides it because he loves his family so much. I know that Alice and Jasper love each other deeply. And then there is Rosalie. She is beautiful, of course, but I think that if she would let people see, she is even more beautiful on the inside. I don't believe that she is honestly a cold or mean person. I have been in a lot of foster and group homes. I have heard many horror stories from the kids there, and I think Rosalie as a horror story of her own. I am not asking to be told what it is, or even confirm or deny my suspicions. I am just saying what I think I know about the Cullen family." She was still smiling at me so I assumed I had not crossed a line. "I know that Rosalie and Emmett love each other in a way that I find beautiful. I know that Dr. Cullen's first name is Carlisle, and that all the nurses are jealous of his wife. They should be because she is the most kind and sincere person I have had the privilege to meet. The only thing I left out is that the family looks amazing and you all have the same golden eyes. I suspect contacts, but I would never tell them that." She laughed when I spoke as if I was not talking to her.

"You are observant. I won't tell the any of the Cullen family what you said. Edward is an amazing musician, so is Rosalie. Alice and Rosalie both love to shop, but Alice tends to make it more of an extreme sport. Do you like shopping?" Her eyes sparkled when she spoke of her children.

"I haven't really been shopping just to shop. I have gone in a store to get what I needed and come back out, but I don't think that counts. Keep telling me about the Cullen's."

"Emmett is always telling jokes and doing pranks. He gets in trouble more than the rest of them put together. Jasper tends to be shy around people outside of our family. But around us, he is extremely outgoing and fun to be around. He gets in trouble when he spends too much time with Emmett. Carlisle is…" She paused for a moment to decide what to say, but I could see the love in her eyes. I would never understand how these people love each other so much. "He is the most compassionate person I have ever known. He is generous and kind, and I know I am blessed that he chose me."

"It sounds like you have a wonderful family."

"I do. I truly do. Now tell me about you, or as much as you want to tell me." I didn't see why I needed to keep any secrets so I decided to tell her everything.

"I will start with what I know about my family tree. I have a great grandmother named Vera. She died a long time ago. She had three children, Henry, Rachel, and Tabitha. Henry had at least one daughter, Sarah Clark. I don't know if that is her maiden name or not. Sarah was a successful business woman who didn't have the time to raise a child. So when she had a baby, she gave it up for adoption without naming the kid. So the kid went to a foster home, and the people there named her Iona. Iona does not like her name at all, but there is nothing she can do about that. Iona has quite a medical history. She was born with heart problems and was diagnosed with cancer when she was ten. She has lived in this hospital for almost two years because her heart stops beating or the cancer is so bad that she can't leave. Who names a baby Iona? It is an ugly name." I laughed and so did Esme. "I am just glad that I wasn't aborted. It is the only thing that I am thankful to my mother for. She could have killed me, but she did not. So here I sit, giving my life story to a woman I just met."

"If you don't mind my asking, where is your family from?" She asked curiously.

"From what little research I have done, upstate New York. My great grandmother, Vera, was a little bit crazy. Her best friend went missing or something and then all these people started being killed shortly after. Everyone was convinced that her best friend was killed, but the body was never found; only a lot of blood in the snow. Vera thought that her friend might still be out there somewhere. Like maybe she ran away or was taken by somebody." The bewildered expression on Esme's face told me to change the subject. "I found a picture of my grandfather, Henry, on the internet. I think I look a lot like him. We both have dark curly hair and dimples when we smile. I never looked up my mother, and there is no father listed on my birth certificate." Esme seemed surprised by all this, but attempted to hide it.

"If you could change your name, what would you change it to?" She asked to mask her shock.

"Vera Rose, and then I would add an adopted family's last name. I like the story of my great grandmother. She never gave up trying to find her best friend. I wish that I had a friend I cared that much about, or who cared that much about me. If I went missing, I would just be another face on a milk carton. I have no one to miss me. Just like when I die, there will be no one at my funeral. Maybe my social worker would show up, but she is always busy. She is in charge of too many kids. I was never in foster homes long, and I didn't attract much attention to myself in the group homes, aside from ambulances needing to be called. No one wants to befriend or adopt a kid who is just going to die. That is just depressing." Esme wrapped her arms around me and stroked my hair.

"I would know you are missing. I would try to find you. And if you die, I will go to your funeral. My whole family will. All of the children remember you from school." I hugged her back for a second, and then let go.

"It is hard not to remember the bald girl who threw up blood on the teacher's shoes, and shortly after fainted. That was in my class with Rosalie and Jasper. I remember looking at everyone, trying to find someone who could help me, but no one got up. The teacher yelled at me while I threw up more blood and then I passed out. The next thing I remember I was in this hospital room, and I have not left since."

"What do you do for fun in here?" I laughed at her question.

"Listen to the nurses gossip and watch T.V. There is only seven channels, and two of them are in Spanish. I tend to talk to myself and stare at the wall a lot. I have counted all the little specks on the ceiling tiles and all the tiles on the floor. I memorize the T.V. guide every morning. I avoid thinking about things like hell, being buried alive, being the only person at my funeral, and what others have that I do not. I should probably apologize to Dr. Cullen. I didn't say anything, but I my thoughts were on the mean and jealous side last night." There was a light knock on the door and the man himself walked into the room.

"Apology accepted, though I see no reason for you to apologize. I kept my promise, as I believe you can tell. On another note, Dr. White has the flu, and he has already taken the week off from work, so I am your doctor until he returns." My eyes lit up like a little kid's on Christmas morning. This was going to work. I was going to have a family for a day. "So can you tell me, on a scale from one to ten, what is your pain right now?"

"Five." I said with a smile. Of course I was in pain, but if I said anything over five they would give me the medication that made me sleep. I wanted to be awake, and the pain was nothing unbareable.

"Any chest pains, nausea, or dizziness this morning?" He asked without glancing at my chart. He knew my case well. He must have studied it before coming in.

"Not enough to mention for all three." I thought for a moment then motioned for him to come closer to me. "Can you request for them not to bring me breakfast until she leaves?" I whispered in his ear. He looked confused.

"Why?" He whispered.

"I don't want to subject her to witness my barf party that is sure to follow eating. Plus, I am not hungry. And I hate throwing up. Why should I eat when we both know it is going to come back up?" I whispered in his ear as quietly as I could. He stood up straighter and returned to the foot of my bed.

"I am sorry, but you need to eat. You are getting supplements through your IV, but that is not enough. You need food, and you might not get sick afterwards. You should ask Esme if she wants to leave, or tell her to if you don't feel comfortable. She understands." Esme gave her husband a questioning look. "Iona, talk to her. Is there anything else I can help you with?" He asked. I looked at Esme expectantly. When she didn't say anything I poked her arm and pointed at her husband.

"Iona wanted to know if she could spend the day at our house. You could be there the whole time, and if she started feeling unwell, we would bring her straight back. I offered to grant her wish, and she has accepted. We just need your approval." We were all smiling now.

"Are you asking for my approval as a doctor or as a husband?" He asked her.

"Both."

"Well, as a doctor I give you permission, as long as I am there with you the whole time, and you would have to bring your IV. As a husband I would love to let this girl come into our home." He kissed his wife on the cheek, which reminded me of something. I cleared my throat and exchanged a glance with Esme.

"Iona, would you excuse us for a minute?" She asked sweetly.

"Not at all! Take your time." I winked at her and watched as she grabbed her husband's hand and pulled him out of the room. They stood outside my door talking quietly for a minute. I did not try to eavesdrop; instead I turned on the television. Two women were yelling at each other in Spanish. I laughed, having seen this before. It was a rerun they played at least once a week. Just as I suspected, the younger woman stepped forward to hit the older, but tripped and fell on her face. I glanced out my door just in time to see Esme wrap both arms around Dr. Cullen's neck and press her lips to his. He stumbled backwards and leaned against the wall behind him; directly in front of the nurses' station.

"Go Esme!" I whispered under my breath. I turned my attention back to the T.V., not really wanting to intrude on their moment. It was another few minutes before I heard a gentle tap on my door. "Come in." I told Esme. Her hair was a mess and her lipstick was gone. She moved to sit in the chair next to my bed, but I scooted over and patted the bed beside me. She sat carefully on the edge. "Let me fix your hair." I told her and ran my fingers through her amazingly soft caramel-colored. In a short period of time it was almost as nice as it was before. "I don't think any of the nurses will think you have an unhappy marriage any more. In fact, if you hadn't come back in when you did I was going to have to go out there and tear you two kids apart." I tried to act stern. To my surprise she looked embarrassed. Maybe it was a good thing I wasn't watching, maybe I missed something I didn't want to see. "I'm just glad that I didn't witness it." This seemed to relieve some of her stress.

"I believe the problem has solved. Carlisle doesn't work tomorrow, so he said that if you are feeling up to it, you can come to our house then. He also said that…" She looked at her lap uncomfortably. For some reason, I felt the need to comfort her. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and with my free hand tilted her chin so she was facing me.

"You can tell me, whatever it is. I can assure you that whatever you say, I've been told worse." I smiled at her.

"Carlisle said that we should do it sooner, rather than later, because you are going to be in more pain and won't be able to leave the hospital as the days go on." Her voice sounded weak and defeated. Her shoulders began shaking in a way I recognized as crying, though she was good at not letting the tears flow.

"Hey, there is no sadness here. This bed is for happy people only. Everyone dies; it is a part of life. There is no reason for you to cry. It's not like I am an exceptionally good person or your friend or family. I am just one of your husband's many patients. I probably won't be the first or last to keel over. If it is going to make you sad to be around a dying person, then we don't have to do this. You can go home and pretend like I never existed. I won't think any less of you. The kindness you have shown me today is more than I ever thought to ask for. You've sat in here for an hour and talked to me. You hugged me and made me laugh. I am a stranger, and you showed me compassion. So thanks for that, but you owe me no more." I patted the back of her purple blouse gently. I had never been in this situation before and was unsure of what to do. I didn't have anyone to be upset about my illness. It was just me.

"I am sorry, I'll keep myself together." She mumbled.

"Take a deep breath and push all the negative thoughts and emotions away, they serve no purpose anyways. That is what I do when I feel… that way." She nodded and I rubbed small circles on her back, like the mothers on television did to their kids when they were upset. It was supposed to be comforting or soothing. It must have worked because she sat up a bit straighter and looked me in the eyes.

If you'd like, I will be your family." She said with a combination of strength and pleading I could not comprehend. I had to think about this one. I had just met this lady. We had talked for an hour, yet I felt close to her. There was something inside her, something that just seemed… motherly. She was an overall maternal person. Of course, she had to be. She adopted five children. For three weeks she would be my family. She would go to my funeral, maybe even be there when I die. I could see that she was trying not to start crying again.

"It would be mean of me to subject you to that. For you to be my family for a little while, and then I die? That is too much to put on your shoulders." I told her sincerely.

"It saddens me that you don't know this, but family is forever. You do not stop being family just because one person dies." She explained her opinion to me.

"When I stop breathing, I won't remember you. I won't remember anything. I won't be anything. What is that quote? Ashes to ashes, dust to dust or something? I will turn to dust." I tried to reason with her. I spark of anger appeared on her face, but disappeared as quickly as it came. She was good at composing herself.

"I don't believe that. I lost my first and only biological son years ago, but I firmly believe my baby boy is looking down on me from heaven. I don't know if I will ever see him again, or if I will ever get to heaven at all, but I hope so." The sorrow in her words as she spoke of her deceased son was overpowering. I had to take a deep breath to keep myself composed. Obviously I said the wrong thing to her. Not wanting to offend her further I rested my cheek on her shoulder. We sat like that until a man wearing a hair net walked into the room and sat a tray on the table. He left without saying a word. The smell of hospital food already had my stomach churning.

"You should probably leave now. Because it is pretty much a guarantee that once the food goes in me, it will come straight back out." I gave her the opportunity to leave; a get out of jail free card.

"No, I will be fine. You are my seventh child, remember? Being a mother gives you a strong stomach." She had that look in her eyes; the wanting I had seen in the eyes of people who desperately wanted to adopt one of the kids in a group or foster home. It was scary to think that she may actually want me.

"Suit yourself." I said taking the lid off the plate. Eggs, grits, and turkey bacon. The food was discolored and bland as always. The eggs felt like rubber in my mouth, but I ate them all. I was halfway through the grits when my stomach tightened. I reached for my barf bowl (the nurses hated when I called it that, but it was more fun the actual name), but I couldn't reach it. In one fluid motion Esme grabbed the bowl, held it under my chin, and pulled my hair out of the way just in time for my breakfast to make its reappearance. My throat burned, my head hurt, and my mouth tasted disgusting. I couldn't stop heaving even after my stomach was empty. Tears rolled down my face as I tried to gain control over my body, but it just wouldn't work. I coughed and heaved and gasped for air. It hurt so bad I couldn't even bring myself to feel embarrassed. After an immeasurable period of time that felt like forever, my stomach gave up on trying to kill me. I felt too weak to even sit up, so I fell back onto my pillows. Breakfast was always the worst. I closed my eyes and tried taking deep breaths, but sometimes, it wouldn't work. So I focused on the blackness that was the back of my eyelids. Nothing but darkness.

"You are going to hurt yourself, sweetheart. You need to let go." I had forgotten Esme was in the room until she had her cold hands on mine, pulling on them. I opened my eyes to see that I was clutching my stomach. It hurt, like it normally did, but it always hurt the most after I ate, or threw up. I was unsure which because they came as a pair. Never one without the other. "Oh my!" I heard her exclaim.

"Wh-whats wrong?" I whispered. My head was pounding from the strain of heaving.

"There is blood in this!" She was scared and startled and surprised. I just nodded my head.

"Yeah. That happens." My voice was so quiet, I don't know how she heard it. I wiped away my tears with the back of my hand. Esme must have called a nurse because one came in the room and started asking questions loudly. I ignored whatever she was saying. "Give me the stuff that knocks me out. I have a headache, vertigo, pain in my upper and middle abdomen, and I am nauseous. There was blood in my vomit, but you'll have to ask Esme how much. I didn't see. And would you please lower your voice?" I knew how to deal with the nurses after years of practice. I had to convince them I was not faking my pain. All of the nurses were convinced I was always pretending to be in more pain than I was. All I wanted was to be unconscious.

"Yeah, that is a lot of blood." I imagined Esme shoving my barf bowl into the hands of the nurse as the nurse spoke. "I'll be back with medication. I am not authorized to give you the medication I know you want, that is for night use only. But I will give you the stuff that makes you drowsy and sleep talk." She knew me equally as well as I knew her. I didn't acknowledge that I heard her speak. As promised, she returned with fast working medication. Immediately I could feel myself slipping into slumber. I was already exhausted, and the drowsiness caused by the medication was all I needed to fall asleep.

"I'll come back to see you later, you need to rest now." Esme whispered into my ear, and then I felt something cold pressed against my forehead. I must have been half asleep already, because my response was not something I would do if I was aware of my actions.

"Stay with me." I grabbed blindly and managed to grip her arm in my hand. "I don't want to die alone."


	2. Chapter 2

I awoke cold and uncomfortable, but well rested. I tried to move, but something cold and hard was attached to my hand. I opened my eyes to see Esme sitting in the chair by my bed again, her hand in mine. The memories of my vomiting party and delirious speaking came back to me. My face turned red with embarrassment, not only had she had to hold my barf bowl, but she had tried to leave and I told her not to. I told her I did not want to die alone. Who could leave a kid after they said that? No one. I made her feel guilty. Crap, I had to fix this.

"I am so sorry about what happened earlier and what I said. I'd blame the medication but it was probably just me. I tend to have a very big mouth with little filtering of what I say. You can go, don't feel obligated to stay here with me. I didn't mean any of it anyways." I told her, expecting her to get up and leave. She stood up, straightened my scarf, and pressed her hand against my cheek. I pushed the covers off of me, I was hot and sweaty. Her cool hands felt wonderful on my burning face.

"I wanted to stay if you wanted me to, and I think you did mean it." She informed me. I pretended not to hear the second part. I could see it already, I was growing attached. Dying was easier to accept when I had no one and nothing to miss. Pushing that thought aside I pressed the button on my bed to make me sit up.

"How are we going to get the state to let me leave with you for a day?" I asked her.

"I called your social worker and told her we were thinking about adopting you. She said that as long as it was approved by your doctor, she would bring by the necessary paperwork, and you could come visit our house to see how you like it." Esme smiled from ear to ear. For a second I thought she was serious, and then I realized she had to find a way to get me to her house legally. I started laughing.

"Ooh! You lied to the state! You are going to be in trouble." I laughed and clutched my stomach. Laughing hurt. Soon I was not laughing and just holding my abdomen. I would have to remember not to do that again.

"Well, why how about we just see how tomorrow goes? We are keeping all of the kids home from school tomorrow, so we can all hang out together. Is there anything in particular you want to do?" She asked. I thought of all the possibilities, all the things I had seen families do in movies or heard kids talk about at school. I quickly came back to reality when a nurse came in my room to check on me. She did her work quickly and left. I couldn't do any of the fun things I had imagined. I could barely walk to the bathroom and back. Eat only led to throwing up. What was I thinking, going to somebody's house?

"I-I can't do much. I don't know what I was thinking… It takes all the energy I have to go to the bathroom and eating is a lost cause. I don't know what to do or say. How will everyone react when we are all eating and I start throwing up everywhere? When I am here, I can just take a nap whenever I feel like it. I have my food brought to me and…" Esme interrupted me.

"Don't worry about anything. No one will eat in front of you, and I, personally, will make sure you are taken care of. If you need to rest, you will be able to. If you need help going to the bathroom, I will help you. You don't have to do or say anything you wouldn't normally. We all understand your limitations. We don't expect you to go run and play football with the boys or go on an extreme shopping spree with the girls. We just want to spend some time with you, and show you what it feels like to be loved and a part of a family." She was too kind for her own good. If I was the overly emotional type I would have cried, but I was tougher than that.

"Alright. Thanks." I replied simply instead. Glancing at the clock I saw it was eleven o'clock. I turned the T.V. off stared intensely at my bed. How many movies had I seen this in? She did say she wanted to be my family, did she not? Did she mean it?

"What are you thinking so hard about?" She asked softly. Instead of answering I moved my pillows to the foot of the bed and scooted to the far left side, leaving plenty of space. I patted the spot next to me.

"Lay next to me?" I asked more timidly than I liked. I wanted to sound confident and indifferent, but it came out pitiful.

"Sure." She gracefully laid next to me. I don't know how she did it because she was wearing a pencil skirt.

"So I have to ask you something important." I told her.

"Ask away, I am an open book."

"Do you feel guilty that I am dying and you are living? Do you pity me? Are you just too nice of a person to not grant my wish? Or… do you legitimately care about me- a girl you only met this morning? Are you serious when you say you want to be my family? Because I need to know. I do a fairly good job at keeping low expectations and not getting my hopes up, but if you don't show up tomorrow after promising to… I don't know what I'll do. I mean, I actually like you. You are nice and sweet and motherly. I just don't want to get my heart crushed because I was stupid enough to believe that people as good as you seem to be, exist." The truth sounded worse out loud than in my head, but I managed to sound more confident than before.

"I don't feel guilty and I do not pity you. I am very sad that this has happened to you, but I don't pity you. I legitimately care about you, and I wish I could have met you sooner. I am being perfectly honest when I tell you I want to be your family, and I plan on being your family no matter what anyone else says, wants, or thinks. We are in this together now, you and I. I think Carlisle and Alice feel the same. She tends to know when things are going to work out." She said with a small smile.

"Well, I hope she is right. I can't wait to officially meet everyone, especially Rosalie. We had to do an in-class project together once, but I don't think that counts. I was _so_ embarrassed! She had to do almost all of it because I had been out of school so much the past year that I didn't know a thing about the subject. She did not act mad, but I was just embarrassed. The school had asked if I needed to be held back and I was adamant that I could handle everything. I had some tutoring while in the hospital, but not enough to retain anything. I was glad she seemed to know what she was doing. We never got to present the project because I came back here and…. Oh no! She had to present it by herself! Crud, I didn't even think about that. Do you think she was mad? Or still is? I hope she doesn't think I just dropped out! The town is small, so surely there was gossip or something. I hope she did not get a bad grade because of my stupid cancer." Esme laughed and wrapped her arms around me.

"You are laying in a hospital bed, and you are concerned about the grade Rosalie got on a school project?" She asked.

"Well more concerned of her reaction to me being a no-show the day we were supposed to present it." I tried to explain my logic.

"Well if you threw up blood on the teacher's shoes and then passed out in front of her, and the entire class, I am sure she assumed you wouldn't be at school the next day. She has straight A's, so I am sure everything worked out fine. Do you have anything in particular you would like to eat tomorrow? Is there anything that doesn't make you sick, or you will enjoy?" Everything made me sick, but I did not want to burst her bubble.

"Greasy foods, spicy foods, and acidic foods are the worse. So no hot sauce, fast food, or crazy fruits. Other than that, whatever you have around the house will be fine. As long as it is not hospital food, I am happy. It has been a long time since I have had food from outside of this place." I rested my head on her shoulder, which was cold and hard, like her hands. I was very thin, easily bruised, and constantly had a fever, so I didn't think much of it. Still, she seemed much colder than the nurses usually did. I pulled the blanket over us, even though I was hot. She shouldn't have to suffer because of my selfishness.

"There has to be something you want to eat." She sighed.

"I don't want you to go through the trouble of making or getting something for me, when it is not going to be in me long enough for me to truly enjoy it. Whatever your family normally eats is great for me. I am not a picky eater." I smiled. I had been a picky eater before my first long stay in a hospital. I had to learn to eat whatever they gave me, or to not eat at all.

"It is no trouble at all to make you whatever you want. The kids usually just find their own food." She said with humor in her voice; it must have been an inside joke.

"If you truly insist, mashed potatoes- no gravy. Gravy guarantees that I will be sick all day. I love mashed potatoes. I used to love gravy too. One of my foster mothers was always fussing at me because she would make potatoes, and I would eat half of the pot by myself. A few times I even got it all in my hair somehow… I miss my hair. It was long and full of dark curls. I could hide behind the curls. Now there is no hiding. I don't even think I have clothes that fit me; I have lost so much weight. All is exposed once you put on a hospital gown." I thought back to my days of wearing denim shorts and running around barefoot in the summer. My hair would curl into tight ringlets because of the humidity. And then I went to brush my hair one morning, and the strands were just falling out more and more as I brushed. I hid them under my pillow and wore a hat for as long as I could. Eventually, when the sheets were changed, everyone discovered I was bald. One of the youngest kids in the home told me I turned ugly, like the ugly duckling. From then on I kept a scarf or hat on my head whenever I was in the presence of others.

"I can make mashed potatoes tonight and then I will just heat them up in the morning. If you miss having hair, have you thought about wigs?" She asked innocently.

"Wigs are itchy and expensive. One of the girls here let me try on one of hers. It was itchy and wouldn't stay on. She died a week later and left all her wigs to some kid down the hall." I told her. It seemed obvious to me, but I guess for someone new to the oncology ward, it wasn't common knowledge.

"Okay. Alice was planning to invite some of the other kids to come and see you after school. Is that alright with you?" She asked me.

"Sure. Just as long as none of them are sick. I'm already a goner, but a lot of kids around here actually have a chance. Oh, and if they are going to stay for me to eat dinner, they will need a strong stomach… Have you eaten anything today?"

"I ate before I came. None of them are sick; Carlisle and I are blessed to have a very healthy group of kids. The only time any of them have been sick, to my knowledge, is Edward having a bad bout of the flu. I believe all of them but Jasper are coming. He doesn't like hospitals, it is nothing personal. Alice called while you were asleep to confirm everything, but I told her I hadn't asked you yet. She is excited about you coming tour house, but I will do my best to keep her calm. She tends to be overly exuberant. Emmett is excited too, he will probably ask a bunch of questions. If he makes you uncomfortable just tell me, and I will smack him for you." I fought not to laugh at this. Laughing would only hurt. Still, there was a big smile on my face.

"I can smack him myself. I am good at answering questions, doctors ask me questions, nurses ask me questions, the social workers from the hospital and the state ask me questions, and everyone else asks questions. But, tomorrow, can we just pretend, as much as possible, that I am not sick? Like I have been in your family my whole life? I am tires of being Iona Jones. Tomorrow I will be Vera Rose Cullen… if that is okay with you?" My confidence disappeared momentarily.

"You can be whoever you want to be tomorrow and do whatever you want to do… as long as it is legal and won't cause you to get hurt. I only say the last part because my children tend to get carried away, but they mean well." I felt like I should have been concerned after the last comment, but shrugged it away.

"Sounds awesome… could you ask a nurse to bring me some water? Some decent chapstick would be nice too, but they don't provide that." She glanced up at the clock.

"I will ask on my way out. I have to go; I have errands to run and cleaning and cooking to do for tomorrow. I will pick up some chapstick while I am out." She got out of the bed and smiled at me. "Will you be okay while I am gone? I will be back before the kids get here." I fought the urge to roll my eyes, I had spent sixteen years (practically) alone. I would be fine.

"I will be okay, and you don't have to get me…"

"I can get you whatever I want to, and if you argue I will buy the most expensive chapstick there is!" She laughed whole-heartedly.

"Okay, okay! Drive safely." She kissed my forehead.

"I will. Take care of yourself, bye." I watched her walk out the door and stop at the nurses' station. The tall African-American nurse with short hair came into the room with a pitcher of water and a Styrofoam cup.

"How do you now Dr. Cullen's wife?" She asked skeptically.

"Oh the Cullen's? They are practically family." I said nonchalantly. She didn't seem to believe this, but didn't argue it either. "Oh, and if I were you, I would stop staring at Dr. Cullen's butt every time he passes by. Not only does it make him and all the patients uncomfortable, but if his wife catches you doing it… I feel bad for you." I turned the T.V. back on and pretended she wasn't in the room. Eventually she left me alone. I picked up the cup of water she poured and sipped on the cool liquid. It hurt a bit to swallow, but my mouth was so dry that I didn't care. I watched the news, watched shows in Spanish with no clue to what they were saying, watched the news again only to realize nothing exciting was happening, watched cartoons and an old black and white movie. The movie had just begun when the guy brought in my lunch tray. I didn't pay much attention to what I was eating. All the food tasted the same bland way here anyways. I managed to keep the food in me for twenty minutes before I started feeling sick. My stomach hurt the whole time, but I was convincing myself I would not get sick. That was until my stomach remembered it hated me.

"I'll make a deal with you, body. This is a onetime offer. You can be as sick as you want now and tonight, but when I am around the Cullen's, you have to behave. Heck, I will even settle for you only trying to kill me in front of Dr. Cullen and Esme! Just please don't throw me a vomiting party in front of the kids. Please?" I reached quickly for my barf bowl, but to my extreme dismay, it was not within reach. Thus, my clothes and blankets were soon covered in grossness. Once again I was heaving and gagging and coughing. Cancer sucked. Being sick sucked. The smell of barf sucked. Ugh.

I reached over and pressed the call button.

"You called." The nurse said. No, really? I had no idea.

"I need someone to come and help me clean up." I said after clearing my burning throat. "Preferably someone nice." You would think there would be nicer people working in the pediatric oncology ward. Maybe cranky kids caused cranky adults.

"I will send someone as soon as possible." She told me in a bored voice.

"Quickly please, I don't like sitting in my own bodily fluids. I will need new blankets and a clean gown." To this I received no response. I bet they were nicer to the kids who had parents always hovering. I smiled as my favorite nurse came in.

"You aren't supposed to be working this side of the floor today!" I told her.

"You asked for a nice nurse and they sent me… And I can see why you asked for a nice nurse. Here, let me help you get cleaned up." Kathryn, the only nurse I cared to learn the name of, disposed of the blankets, helped me get a quick bed bath, and put a clean gown on me. The whole time we exchanged small-talk. She told me about her two year old son, who was always in trouble, and I told her about Esme and Dr. Cullen's attempt to keep the nurses from flirting with him.

"I heard about that! Is that what they were doing?" She laughed.

"Yes, and it was my brilliant idea. I don't think he will have people saying his marriage is unhappy for a while." I grinned, clean and dressed.

"Well I hope it works. I feel bad for the man, some of the nurses are shameless!"

"I couldn't agree more. Is there any chance that you could take over my nursely duties for the day?" I batted my eyes… My eyelashes and eyebrows had disappeared with the rest of my hair. At least I never had to worry about shaving.

"No, sorry. I just so happened to have a free moment to come to your rescue. Let me move your barf bowl," Ah, she knew me so well. "right here beside you."

"Thanks for saving me from the rest of 'em. If I hear one more complaint about having to help me I will scream. I will do it. I will start screaming at the top of my lungs, waking up all the napping children. That will teach them a lesson about who they complain to." Kathryn looked at me disapprovingly.

"Don't Iona. It'll make my life more difficult too. They should be careful who they complain to. You seem to have friends higher up on the hospital ranks… I really have to go now." She said as her beeper went off. I waved as she ran out the room and down the hall. Alone again I sipped on my water and flipped through the channels. There was never anything good on during the day. As the clock approached four I decided I needed to make myself look as decent as I could manage. Using my IV pole for support I made may way to the bathroom. I didn't recognize the face I saw in the mirror. It was too thin and too pale. I almost looked like a ghost.

"Boo." I whispered to myself in the mirror. I took off my green scarf and put it back on my head, tying it neatly. I rinsed off my face and brushed my teeth. After staring at myself for another few minutes I decided I was a lost cause. "You will never be pretty, deal with it." I told the ugly reflection. I tied my gown tighter in the back in attempt to cover more of my body. It didn't work well, so I gave up. Worst case scenario, they would see my green underwear- at least the scarf, gown, and underwear matched. There was a knock on the bathroom door.

"Iona?" Esme's voice asked.

"I'm coming out!" I said, louder than necessary. It took me a minute to get moving again, but I was able to get out of the bathroom. When she offered me her hand, unlike last time, I accepted her help. With her supporting most of my weight I crossed the small room and got in my bed. As soon as I was settled in bed I scooted over. Esme laid beside me without having to be asked to. She handed me a package of fruity flavored chapsticks. "Could you open it for me?" I asked, and she did. I eagerly applied it to my lips. The taste of oranges was not overpowering, and did not upset my stomach. "Thank you, Esme." I rested my head on her shoulder comfortably.

"You don't need to thank me for anything. If you want or need anything else, just tell me." I thought about clothes. I had none that fit me, and I didn't want to have to go to their house in a hospital gown. "Tell me what it is you want." She said with her eyes closed. She was good at this mothering thing.

"I uh… I don't have any clothes. I have a T-shirt, it will be big on me but it will work. I don't have any pants left…" I sighed. She had held my barf bowl; it didn't get much more personal than that.

"Honey, whatever you need I will be happy to get for you. But, you have to tell me." Her eyes were still closed. I closed mine too.

"I don't have a bra." I spoke without opening my eyes. "And what I am wearing now is the only underwear I have. It doesn't really matter as long as I am in the hospital, but I would prefer to not have to go to your house in this gown. I am skinny as a rail, so if Rosalie has any clothes from when she was younger, that will work. I'm thinner than Alice, but a few inches taller… I might could fit in her clothes." I did not want to have this conversation.

"I'll make sure you have some stuff to where tomorrow. What sizes do you wear?" She spoke in a way that did not make me feel embarrassed.

"I have no clue." I felt her move and the fabric of my gown was pulled tightly so that she could see the outline of my body.

"Alright, I have an idea of what you need. Do you have any preferences?" I thought about it.

"Something comfortable. Nothing tight or stiff."

"Alright, I will get you a good sports bra, some lose fitting shirts, some sweat pants, and underwear. Is there anything else? Don't be afraid to ask me." I thought through all the things I owned.

"Could you get my shoes from the window sill? I want to see if they still fit." She got up smoothly, retrieved my shoes, and sat them on my lap. After a short battle with my blankets I freed my legs and bent to put the shoes on. Instead I jerked back, clutching my stomach. I added bending to the list of things not to do.

"Would you like me to help you put them on?" She asked.

"Yes, thank you." She was cautious and gentle as she put the shoes on my feet and tied them. "Do they feel comfortable?" I wiggled my toes.

"They fit well enough to last me another month. Good thing I won't be around that long or I would outgrow them." I smiled and she frowned.

"Do you want me to take them off?" Her smile returned, though not as bright as before.

"Yes please." She sat my shoes back on the window sill and looked back and forth between the bed and the chair several times.

"From now on, this is your seat." I said pointing at the bed beside me. Esme resumed her previous position, and again I rested my head on her shoulder. I felt a strange feeling, like I had missed her. It was as if she had always been in my life, only I didn't know it yet. Maybe she felt it too, because she wrapped her arms around me and held me for a while. I was just about to fall asleep when a booming voice awoke me.

"HEY!" I jerked my eyes open to see Emmett Cullen, along with all of his siblings except one, standing in my doorway. I gave them a friendly smile, which they all seemed to return. They were even more attractive than I had remembered. Upon realizing their mother was holding me I tried to untangle myself from her strong grip, to no avail. I gave up quickly.

"Hi, c'mon in. You can sit on the couch or in one of the two chairs. There is room at the foot of the bed too." I invited. Edward and Alice plopped themselves down on the couch and Emmett sat in the chair closest to me. Rosalie only stood in the doorway. I thought a joke would encourage her to enter and lighten her obviously glum mood. "You can come in, cancer isn't contagious. If it was I wouldn't let them bring you in; I would hate for you to lose your beautiful hair." Her jaw dropped and her mouth hung open for a second before she was able to recompose herself. I smiled at her. "You can sit on the bed. My feet don't stink; I just got a-" I omitted the word 'bed'. "-bath." There was no reason for them to know that detail. Rosalie slowly sat on the very edge of the bed… perhaps she really did believe she could catch my disease, or maybe she just felt uncomfortable around sick people.

"Iona, you know Rose and Edward." Alice said. "This is our brother, Emmett." Emmett held out his giant hand for me to shake. My small, thin hand looked comical in his large one.

"Great to meet you! It was kind of weird that someone I never spoke to wanted to tell me goodbye before they die…" Esme interrupted Emmett. Rosalie and Esme's expressions were priceless.

"EMMETT! Manners!" Her voice was stern and held an authority no one would dare to argue with… but Emmett.

"If you'd let me finish, I was going to say, it was kind of weird that someone I never spoke to wanted to tell me goodbye before they die, but the more I think about it, the cooler I think you are." I laughed a little and forced myself not to wince.

"Thanks. And feel free to say whatever you want or to ask any questions. You don't need to walk on eggshells around me- I won't start crying or take offense to questions. Plus, I would like to get all the questions aside today." Emmett grinned eagerly, and I awaited his first question.

"What is wrong with you?" He asked.

"Emmett nothing is wrong with her! Just because…" I had to stop Rosalie. She needed to understand that I was not going to fall to pieces over anything.

"Rosalie, he is fine. There is a lot wrong with me, I have cancer. I was born with a heart condition, which has greatly inhibited me all my life. To add to that, which would more than likely have eventually been the cause of my death, I was told I had cancer when I was ten. According to the statistics on the internet, stomach cancer is usually in elderly men, and usually it is African or Asian people who get it. I am sixteen, white as can be, and female. I defy the odds! The cancer has spread and your dad gave me my expiration date, which is three weeks from yesterday, though like the expiration dates on food, I could last longer or I could keel over within the next five seconds." I pointedly held my breath and stared intently at the clock for five seconds. When they passed I let out the breath loudly in an overdramatic manner. "Phew, it'd be awkward to die in front of you, Emmett, since this is our first time meeting." I smiled and so did he. I liked this guy.

"Does it hurt?" He cocked his head to the side in thought.

"Well… yeah. I would downplay it, but I prefer to be honest. It hurts when I laugh, bend over, swallow, cry, and throw up. I do the last one a lot, but I told my stomach it is not allowed to make me barf in front of you guys. I wish it will behave." Emmett opened his mouth to ask another question, but Alice beat him to it.

"Do you like wearing the hospital gown, or do they make you wear it?" I was glad I did not blush, thinking back to my previous conversation with Esme. She still sat by my side with one arm around my shoulder. None of her kids seemed to think this odd.

"It is easier to change hospital gowns than actual clothes when they get… dirty." I didn't think they'd want to know about barfing all over myself, though I thought I saw Edward grimace out of the corner of my eye. "Also, I don't have many clothes." I tried to be vague. Her face lit up like a child's on Christmas morning.

"Can I go shopping for you!?" She bounced up and down with excitement.

"No. But if you do buy me anything, keep the receipts." She seemed to think this over, and then nodded resolutely.

"What kind of music do you like?" Edward asked. This was a question I was unprepared for.

"I don't get to listen to music. I don't have a way to… So I guess whatever is playing is what I like. Nothing with profanity."

"Do you have to do school work here?" Emmett asked before anyone else could ask a question.

"I am sixteen, so I dropped out of school. I didn't see the point of trying to get a diploma. What would I do with it in a hospital bed? No one tried to stop me, no one was disappointed, no one cared. I guess that is every kid's dream." I smirked.

"I was told what you told Mom about your family. Aside from your actual parents, what else do you know about your family?" Rosalie's soft voice was unexpected.

"Do you have any questions in particular, or just generally?" I was eager to answer any question of her that I could, in order to make her feel more comfortable. She sat with her back perfectly straight and unmoving.

"Could you tell us more about your great grandmother, Vera?" She acted as though she was afraid to ask.

"Her story is the one I know the best, and my favorite! Vera was married to a carpenter. They were not rich in money, but they overcompensated for that in their love for each other. Together they had a son, Henry. He, like I once did, has dark curly hair and dimples. He was very handsome as a young man, in the only photo I have see of him. Anyhow, Vera was very happy. She had a wonderful family, and a very close friend, named Rosalie. Vera called her Rose." I smiled at Rosalie, no wonder she was interested in this story- it was about a girl with her name. "Rose was the most beautiful girl in Rochester. Everyone knew this, including herself. Rose was at Vera's house one night and the friends were enjoying each other's company. They hadn't even noticed how dark it had become outside until Vera's husband commented on it. Rose was supposed to get married the next day to one of the richest and most handsome guys around." The Rosalie in front of me had an extremely blank expression on her face. She was trying not to show emotion. I pretended not to notice. "Vera and her husband did not want Rose to walk home alone that night, but Rose insisted that an escort would not be required. So she left. Only she never made it home. Search parties were gathered to find the missing girl, who was only eighteen or nineteen. Rose's body was not found- living or otherwise. The only clue that was left was a lot of blood in the snow on an empty street. This street was on her way home, but her fiancé and his friends had been gathered on that street and claimed not to have seen her.

"Eventually people stopped looking for the beautiful young girl. Even her parents gave up hope in finding her. Some believed she ran away- cold feet before her wedding. Others believed she was murdered and buried somewhere no one would ever find. But not Vera. Vera refused to give up hope on finding Rose. She believed her friend was alive, somewhere. She was the reason people searched as long as they did for her. Vera spent the rest of her life trying to find her best friend. She became crazy, mumbling to herself constantly with the occasional outburst. Anytime she would see a girl with blond hair she would become hysterical. Her husband helped her as best he could, but she died when she was only forty five. In hopes that she would move on from the loss of her friend, her husband had moved them to a different part of New York, further North. She had come home one day swearing that she had seen Rosalie at a clothing store. Only instead of running up to the girl she thought was Rosalie, she had run away. She convinced her husband to go back with her. Exiting the store was a young woman with blond hair who was so beautiful it almost hurt to see her. Vera ran across the street without looking… and got smashed by a car. Her husband said that the beautiful young woman ran started to run towards the accident, the ran in the opposite direction so fast that she was a blur.

"In Vera's obituary, her husband had written that she died after seeing an angel, her friend who had died years ago. I love that story. I don't know how much of it is true, but I love it. I hope that she did see her best friend and that she when she died she went wherever people go, together. Vera never gave up on finding her friend- she cared that much about her." Rosalie seemed frozen like a block of ice, lost deep in thought.

"That's a neat story isn't it Rose?" Edward asked harshly. Odd. Emmett stood up and hugged her tight. She looked over his shoulder to me.

"What do you believe happened to her?" She asked with a shakey voice.

"Me? I think she died. The unidentified blood seems to be an important detail. Maybe her fiancé was the one to kill her… even though he was supposedly with his friends the whole time. Maybe he used them as an alibi. I would like to say I believed she ran away and changed her name… maybe got married when she was a little older and had half a dozen kids and a dog named Rover. I really wish I believed that, but I don't."


	3. Chapter 3

"What do you think happened to Rose?" I asked Rosalie, trying to keep her involved in conversation.

"I don't want to think about it." She said- I could understand that. It was a sad story.

"That has always been my favorite story." I told them and received many bewildered stares. "Not because of the death and insanity, but because of the strength of the friendship. I guess in a way, I almost envy Rose. She had a family who loved her and a best friend who would do anything for her. I've never had that. Plus, she was beautiful and rich." I smiled. "That would be fun too." Still, no one spoke. The silence continued until there was a knock at the door. Hairnet-man, who seemed to always be working, entered my room with a tray of food. I looked at the clock to see it was only four forty-five. Way too early for him to be bringing dinner.

"Excuse me, I don't mean to interrupt your family visit, but your doctor has ordered your food to be delivered early." I tried to fight my increasing panic.

"Why?" I asked him, keeping my voice steady.

"Not my job to know ma'am. I would suggest asking your doctor." With that being said, he left the room. I pressed the call button and a nurse was slow to answer.

"Yes?"

"Can you page Dr. Cullen for me?" I asked, trying to at least sound a tiny bit polite.

"I can't just page a doctor. Is there a reason why?" My frustration was combining with my panic, causing a nasty mix of emotions.

"Yes there is a reason why, or else I wouldn't have asked you to page him!" I snapped. "I need to know why I have to eat dinner early." She sighed.

"There will be a change in your medications, beginning before you go to sleep tonight. You need to eat earlier because you are supposed to take the medicine on an empty stomach, per Dr. Cullen's orders." My frustration only grew- he knew that I did not want to eat in front of anyone. He knew I didn't want to eat at all.

"Just page him!" I yelled. She did not respond. I looked around my room at my company. I was going to have to eat in front of them. I was going to have to throw up my food in front of them. Tears blurred my vision. No, life was not fair.

"You may want to leave now. Especially if you have a weak stomach, you will regret it if you do not leave now." I told them, thinking about barf, tears, pain, and blood. Edward and Alice exchanged a glance.

"We will be fine." Alice said, careful to make eye contact with each person in the room individually.

"Suit yourself." I mumbled. I took the lid off my plate and began to eat quickly. Swallowing hurt. The food entering my stomach hurt. The fear of what was going to happen next hurt. I cleared my plate in five minutes, and then drank all of my milk. I did not taste a single bite or sip. I pushed the tray away and closed my eyes. The only thing left on it was the dessert, which was supposed to be a muffin of some sort. "We made a deal stomach. If you betray me, I will kill you." I whispered under my breath. Esme, who still had her arm around me, hugged me closer.

"Does hospital food really taste worse than other food?" Emmett asked. My stomach made an odd noise at the mentioning of food.

"Can we please not discuss food? And eat the muffin if you want to find out." I focused on Esme's cool touch. "Somebody talk about something." I told them, closing my eyes.

"At school today, Alice told everyone that she was getting a new sister. She went on and on and on about you all day long. She talked about setting you up a bedroom and going shopping for you and drove all those teenagers nuts." Emmett offered.

"I did not talk about her _that_ much! And I am just excited!" Even with my eyes closed, I knew Alice was bouncing up and down.

"I am only going to be your sister for a day, and…" My sentenced was stopped by my stomach misbehaving. Thank goodness, this time I was able to retrieve my own barf bowl and hold it myself as my dinner made its reappearance. For the third time that day I was coughing, gagging, gasping for air, heaving, and clutching my stomach. I tried to wipe away the traitorous tears that were falling down my face as my stomach tortured me. The barf party ended, but the pain was slow to fade away. I didn't want to take the pain medication that would make me sleep, even though it would relieve the horrible feeling. I forced my eyes open and looked in the bowl- there wasn't a lot of blood, but still some. I moved to press the call button, to have a nurse come and clean out the bowl, but the bowl vanished from my lap. I looked up, (all of my movements were slowed by the pain), to see Rosalie in the bathroom, flushing the contents of the bowl down the toilet, and then rinsing it with water. What was up with these people? I wouldn't even do that for one of the kids here, and I was one of them! Did she not know that was… gross? Even I did not want to touch it. She was either one of the kindest people I had ever met, or one of the strangest. I decided to settle on kind for now. Once the pain was bearable, I looked at everyone. Edward and Alice looked sympathetic, Emmett looked like he smelled something bad (which he did), and Esme was still holding me. No one was complaining or storming out of the room, so I was able to breathe a sigh of relief. Rosalie placed my bowl back on my lap, and returned to her seat on the edge of the foot of the bed. It was only then that I noticed she was still wearing her coat.

"Why don't you take off your coat and stay a while?" I joked. "Sit back and relax. I promise not to barf on you." I offered her a small smile. She took off her jacket and laid it on her lap, then scooted back an inch. I suppressed a sigh. I gave Esme a small hug and then looked back to Rosalie. "You should trade places with Esme." I told her. Esme stood up and moved away from the bed, while Rosalie only stared.

"A-are you sure? I don't think that…" She seemed lost in her thoughts.

"Yes I am sure. You cleaned out my barf bowl, so I know you are not afraid to catch the cancer- which means it is not my illness but ME that is the problem. If you don't like me or don't feel comfortable around me, feel free to leave. But if you want to stay, I insist you sit right here. You're making me feel insecure, because I don't know what is making you so uncomfortable. You didn't act like this when we were in class together, so I don't know why you are now. I am not asking for an explanation, I don't like to snoop through other people's business." I kept my voice soft and polite, trying to encourage her. She stood up and walked around the bed. I nodded my head in approval for her to lie beside me. She moved very slowly, but eventually settled stiffly next to me. Her bare arm was cold against my side, and soothing. Without a second thought I took her hand in mine and placed it on my stomach. The pain was not gone, but was numbed quickly by her cool skin.

"Why did you do that?" She asked.

"Because I almost constantly have a fever, so your skin feels very cold to me. My stomach hurts, and your hand is acting like an ice pack." I watched as Esme sat at the end of the bed, and then turned back to Rosalie. A small smile touched my lips again. "Honestly, I haven't been in this little pain in weeks. Maybe even longer. I may just have to ask the hospital to hire you. You can stay here as long as you like." She smiled.

"I am glad I can help you." She told me. I rested my head on the side of her arm, which was uncomfortable, but felt nice too, in an odd way.

"Do you throw up like that a lot?" Emmett asked.

"Yes. Sometimes are worse than others, though. What you just witnessed was actually not that bad. I was really hoping you would not have to witness it, though." I had no embarrassment left. I guess I had used it all up. "So all of you know about me and my family, does anyone want to volunteer their background story?" I asked. Emmett was the only one who didn't instantly put his guard up.

"Oh! I want to go first! I came from a big family. I grew up in Tennessee; it was great. I wasn't the best kid though. I was involved in a lot of… immoral and even a few illegal activities. But I put that life behind me as soon as Carlisle and Esme adopted me. They are great parents, and I can't imagine not being with my family- this family." He smiled. He did not truly explain why he had to be adopted, but I could infer from what he told me. His parents probably gave him up due to his… wild and recklessness. I had known some kids with similar stories. Alice was the next to speak.

"I woke up alone with no memory! And then I met Jasper! Carlisle and Esme welcomed me into their home and here we are!" She spoke excitedly.

"Where did you wake up at? With no memory I mean." She bit her lip, but still smiled.

"In the woods." Her high pitch voice sounded like bells. She laughed and I was careful to keep a blank expression. That was… unique.

"Both of my parents died. I had the same illness and Carlisle was my doctor." Edward kept his answer short. I looked at Esme, questioningly, and then at Rosalie.

"You do not have to tell me anything. I don't share my story with everyone, so I understand that. No one should live in the past, anyways." I smiled. Rosalie breathed a sigh of relief, but Esme only sat a bit straighter.

"No, I don't mind telling my story. I grew up in Ohio and was married to an abusive man. I discovered I was pregnant and left him. My son died when he was still only a newborn and I was very upset." There was something in her eyes, I could see it. She was editing her story- not that I minded. "Carlisle saved me from myself and my past, and we adopted our children because together we cannot have any. I have always wanted to be a mother, and I am for all intents and purposes." I held out my hand and squeezed hers.

"I want to be a mother, too." I was surprised to hear Rosalie speak. "I have always wanted to be a mother, but I am unable." She provided no more information.

"I guess we want what we can't have. I always wanted a family, but no one wants a sick kid; not even foster families. My birth family certainly did not, and does not, want me. I heard of kids being adopted by family friends, and for a while I expected that to happen for me. Maybe that is why I have clung to the story of Rose and Vera, because I am waiting for Rose, or her children or grandchildren, to come and take me home. Too late now though." I laughed softly. Wow, that came out more depressing than I intended for it too. Oops. Even then, I could picture it. I could never picture Rose in old age, but I could see her being the age she was when she disappeared, and I could see her welcoming me into her home. She would take care of me, and essentially be my mother. It was impossible, and a childish notion, but I wanted it. A nurse came into the room, followed by a worker of the state.

"Hi, my name is Patty. I have brought the necessary paperwork for you to take the girl home tomorrow." The lady said. Nice, she didn't even take the time to glance at the file and read my name. Real nice. Esme exchanged a glance with Edward and he nodded.

"Actually, we have decided to become her foster parents. The adoption process takes too long, so we figured we would just foster her." My jaw dropped and I stared at the two women.

"Oh, well I have paperwork for that right here in my bag." She dug through her bag in a hurry and shoved some papers into Esme's hands. Esme began signing and discussing details with Patty and I continued to stare. Dr. Cullen came in the room and began signing things as well.

"You're okay with this, aren't you?" Rosalie whispered in my ear. I closed my mouth and my eyes. This wasn't happening. It was not possible. I was sick! I was dying! Did these people not know that? Everything was happening so fast, and I was tired. "Hey, it's okay. You can tell them you don't want this; don't just go along with it because it is what we want." She whispered.

"Are you sure they, and you, want this?" I asked. She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug.

"Of course! I can't imagine it any other way. If Carlisle and Esme didn't take you in, Emmett and I would." That was wonderful… and strange. How old was she?

"How old are you and Emmett?" I asked her. Her response was so quietly whispered in my ear I had to strain to hear it.

"I am eighteen, and Emmett is twenty. We are married, but that is not public knowledge. Alice and Jasper are married as well, and though we don't know for sure how old Alice is, Jasper is nineteen." This was a lot to take in, but easy to accept. It seemed so obvious once she told me. They were pretty old to be juniors in high school, but maybe it had something to do with their previous families as to why they were still in school. I glanced at Rosalie's hand to see a wedding ring; how had I not noticed it before? I guess I had never looked beyond the beauty of any of their faces. Maybe everyone else was the same way, or assumed it was a promise ring. Looking around now, I saw that all of them, excluding Edward, were wearing wedding rings. Huh.

"Your secret is safe with me… but don't think I am going to marry Edward, just because we are the only two unmarried." I whispered back, and then laughed. It was painful, but not as bad as usual since Rosalie's hand was acting as an ice pack, so I indulged myself in the moment. Rosalie laughed too, and out of the corner of my eye it looked like Edward was chuckling as well. She squeezed me around my shoulders.

"No. I don't think that, and I don't think anyone else will." I could hear the smile in her whisper.

"Good." She tried to let go, but I didn't move. "Tomorrow, can we hang out at some point? Just you and I?" I asked her. She nodded and her hair tickled my face. "You hair really is beautiful. I'd kill to have hair like yours." I spoke at a regular volume.

"Your hair used to be dark and curly?" She asked.

"Yes, a lot like Emmett's. My skin used to have a lot more color to it, and I wasn't always so thin. Actually I was a little bit on the chubby side, but not too much. I miss things like hair, sunshine, and running barefoot through the grass. Oh and good food. I miss good food… Oh, whoops! We were talking about hair. But yeah it was black and long and very curly. Having hair is a lot nicer than having to wear this stupid scarf all the time, but my hair was nowhere near as beautiful as yours." I ran my fingers over the top of my scarf and imagined the hair that once was.

"If you do not like the scarf, why do you wear it?" Alice asked. They liked to ask the questions that were hard for me to answer.

"It's ugly. I'm ugly. I don't want people to see me without the scarf, to see my head. I'm bald." I forced myself to say.

"You are not ugly." Alice told me. "You are very pretty." That sounded comical coming from someone so gorgeous.

"You can't lie to me. I have been told otherwise before, and I can look in the mirror. I know what ugly is, and to quote one of my foster siblings, I 'look like the ugly duckling'. I feel that way even more, now. I mean, have you seen yourselves? Your entire family is freakishly attractive." Alice shook her head.

"The ugly duckling turned out to be a beautiful swan, you know. And honestly, you are not ugly. I would tell you if you were. You don't have to wear the scarf if you don't want to." My eyes grew wide as I imagined them seeing me without it, and laughing at my baldness. "Haven't you heard, bald is beautiful? Plus, beauty is on the inside."

"I am aware of the counter arguments; I simply do not support them. Let's move on, okay? I will never have hair again. I don't even have eyebrows." She rolled her eyes at me.

"Whatever." Alice stuck her tongue out at me.

"Dr. Cullen?" He walked to my bedside.

"You can call me Carlisle. What can I do for you?" He asked me.

"How soon do I get to leave this hell-hole, and how long do I get to stay away?" I asked, batting my eyes. I stopped when I realized that wouldn't work without eyelashes. Being hairless was not great.

"One, I am now your legal guardian, so watch your language." My face tuned vermillion.

"I am so sorry. It will never happen again, I promise. I am sorry." I was suddenly afraid he would tear up the papers he had just signed and tell me I couldn't be in their family.

"You are forgiven." He smiled. "Secondly, it all depends on what you want at this point." He said. I had to think for a moment before I realized what he meant.

"Oh. You m-mean end of life care and all that stuff?" I was a little afraid of his answer.

"Yes, my dear, I do. Whatever you want or don't want, we will support you in your decision." I nodded appreciatively.

"Well, I know my options, and if at all possible I want to leave this hospital and never return. Also I want a DNR." His smile never faltered.

"Why would you want a DNR?" Emmett asked. I took a deep breath.

"I am going to die, why should I prolong the process? I don't want some machine keeping me alive; I want to keep me alive. My heart can't handle stopping and restarting again anyways. Whenever it stops beating, and I've known this for a while, they won't be able to restart it. The cancer is everywhere, and I am in pain. The pain will only get worse and worse until I die. Pain medication just knocks me out, and I don't want to sleep through the last weeks of my life. I am starving. I know you can see how thin I am. They are giving me vitamins and stuff through my IV, but it is not enough. My body needs sustenance and I can't eat without throwing up. They tried a feeding tube, but it wasn't any different for me than eating food normally. Lastly, if I didn't have a DNR, you would hold on to hope when the time comes and things really go downhill. This way, no one, including me, is disappointed. If you can't accept I am going to die, then it is a bad idea to get close to me. Because if you get close to me and still have hope- it is only going to hurt more. I am dying, and it is what it is. No one can save me." I could feel the tears coming but pushed them deep inside me. No crying allowed.

"If you could become immortal, would you?" He asked after thinking for a minute.

"No. To be frozen at one age while you guys grow up would suck. Plus I'd have to stick around and watch all of you die, which would not be cool- at all. Also, from what books I have read and the movies I have seen, to be immortal usually means one has to become some sort of killer. I would not want to kill people to keep myself alive. All lives are equal, and no one has the right to kill another human being- I don't care what the situation is. Whether it be a murderer or someone in the wrong place at the wrong time. I don't even like abortion. No one deserves to be killed. I am dying, so I get to say that. That is one of the perks of knowing you are dying, you get to say all the things that are not politically correct." I laughed and so did Emmett. Ah, if I had more time we could have been great friends.

"But, what if you found a way not to kill people, but still be immortal. And all of us were immortal too?" I laughed.

"If I wouldn't have to kill people and all of your family was immortal too, then yes. I would become immortal. But even if immortality was possible, I still think that it would involve killing others. I don't want to be a monster; whether it be a witch, a vampire, a werewolf, or some other kind of evil being. Well now I feel kind of bad. I mean, if those things were to somehow exist I just judged them. Emmett this is your fault! Now I feel guilty for judging something that doesn't exist! You owe me now." I turned away from him.

"What can I do to gain your forgiveness?" He got down on his knees by the bed.

"Chocolate ice-cream with chocolate syrup for lunch tomorrow; that is the only way for me to forgive you." I tried not to smile.

"I thought eating made you sick?" He asked.

"It does, but my doctor makes me eat anyways. I might as well eat something that tastes good going in, though I doubt it will taste as good the second time around." Carlisle cleared his throat.

"You being here isn't doing a lot of good. I can continue administering your medications from home and I think you will be more comfortable there anyways. If you want a DNR I will go get the paperwork and we can sign it. You will have to wear the bracelet all the time though." I smiled.

"That is okay, I don't have a problem with purple." He laughed, but soon became serious again.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" I nodded.

"Positive. I was going to ask about getting a DNR soon, anyways. Can you be my doctor and my father at the same time?"

"Normally, no. But, this is such a small town, and the nearest hospital, outside of this one, is over two hours away. You aren't going to be in this hospital much longer and I am taking an extended leave from work to stay home with you." He must have seen the expression on my face because he continued with this statement; "Esme and I have already discussed this, and we both agree this is what would be best. I want to do this. We are pulling the kids out of school and spending time together as a family." These people were amazing.

"Can you even do that? Is that allowed?" I asked.

"All of them, other than Edward, are legal adults. They can do whatever they like. Some things are more important than school." Esme stood beside him as the lady from the state made her exit.

"You are one of those things. We probably won't have much time with you, so it seems, so we want to make the most of it while we can. You are family now, and we value family above everything else on this earth." Esme said, wrapping her arm around Carlisle's waist.

"So when do I get to leave?" I asked, trying not to sound too excited.

"At this point, we can get the paperwork and you can leave whenever you want. My recommendation as your doctor would be for you to wait until morning, but as a father, I say you should go home tonight."

"Take me home. Please?" Alice jumped up.

"I need to go and set up your room! Bye!" She kissed my cheek and danced out of the room. She sure was weird, but nice.

"I rode with her, and there are only five seats in Carlisle's car, so I must be going as well. It was a pleasure to make your acquaintance, and I look forward to your arrival to our home." He shook my hand and left. I felt like I should have curtsied or something. He was so formal. I took a deep breath and turned to Rosalie.

"What is Jasper like?" I asked her.

"He is a great brother. He tends to be a bit introverted until you get to know him. He probably won't initiate much contact with you, but don't take it personally. He… struggles with our life the most." I nodded.

"I am sure, for some, being adopted is not easy."

"He loves Carlisle and Esme. He loves all of us. He is just… he had a difficult past and that has lead to his present being difficult as well." I decided it was better not to question it.

"But he won't hate me or anything, right?"

"No one could hate you." Esme told me.

"My mother hated me enough to give me to the state." I told her with no emotion in my voice. "She had and has money, so that wasn't the problem. She had the ability to love, because she loved her work. She had a good family, so that's not the problem either. I was the problem."

"I don't know what was wrong with that woman, for her to give you away, but I am glad that you are joining our family now." She looked at me for a second like I was a sad little girl with terminal cancer. I didn't like that look on her face. I guess in her eyes, maybe, I was her second dying child- if she truly thought of me that way. Probably not though. Ugh. Dying sucked. Carlisle, who had left, returned with more paperwork in hand.

"You need to sign this- it is the paperwork for your DNR."

"Do I sign it Iona Cullen or Iona Jones?" I asked. It seemed like a legitimate question, but everyone just looked at me like I was crazy. I signed Iona Jones in all the necessary places and handed him the paperwork again, trying to act like I wasn't embarrassed. He accepted the papers and he and Esme signed a few things before he disappeared again. "Stop looking at me like that!" I told Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme. "I don't know how these things work!" They were still looking at me oddly. I groaned and slapped my hands over my face. I hated awkward silences and stares. Finally Esme broke the silence.

"Would you like to change your name?" I was beginning to feel like I was intruding into this family.

"Are you asking because you feel obligated to or are you asking because you want to know?" I asked, with my hands still covering my face.

"I want to know. I didn't think about it before, but if you want to change your name we can have it done." I looked at Rosalie and Emmett.

"What are your last names?"

"Mine is Cullen, but Rosie kept her last name; Hale. Everyone else changed their name to Cullen, well actually we just tacked it on at the end. We have two last names I guess, but one can really only be _last._ Does that make any sense?" I laughed.

"Yes it does. And if it is okay with you, I would like very much to change my name. Can I change my first name too? You can pick it out Esme, just anything other than Iona." She squeezed my hand.

"I thought you wanted to change it to Vera Rose?" She asked.

"You already have a Rose, and a whole new name would be nice. I am tired of being Iona Jones." I leaned more on Rosalie. I was exhausted, I hadn't had this much excitement in a long time. "Maybe the family could vote on my new name. Maybe I should change my last name to Hale, so Rosalie won't stand out as much." Rosalie patted my arm.

"Whatever you would like, we will be fine with." Esme's voice was far too soothing.

"I kept my last name because I want to keep that piece of my past with me. You should take on the name Cullen." Rosalie told me.

"You can't live in the past, you know. If we could, I would be cancer-free again and still have hair. If you love the family you have, you should let them know and appreciate them while they are around. They won't live forever." I looked at Emmett. "Even immortals don't really live forever. Everyone has a weakness, a breaking point, a way to be destroyed." I hoped Rosalie wasn't pushing her family away, because family was such a special thing- something many did not have. Carlisle entered the room pushing a wheelchair. "Is it really that easy, that quick, for me to be able to leave?" I asked him.

"Normally, you'd probably have to wait a few hours. Since I work here I am able to pull some strings." I started getting up quickly, too quick. I had to lie back down and wait for the pain to fade and the room to stop spinning. Once I had my bearings and was able to think clearly again I looked for Esme.

"Could you please give me my T-shirt and sweat pants from over there?" I pointed to the small cabinet in the room. "And my shoes from the window sill?" She brought them to me and I looked at Carlisle for a long minute.

"Are you playing doctor or Dad right now?" I asked.

"Dad?" He said questioningly.

"Then, like, oh my gosh Dad, like, get out. I am totally changing clothes." I turned to Emmett. "You too!" Emmett literally ran out of the room covering his eyes. Carlisle followed him and shut the door. I pulled the stupid gown off me and put on my shirt. That part wasn't too difficult, but the pants were another story. Being unable to bend or reach without intense pain was annoying. "Can somebody help me?" I was barely able to ask before both Esme and Rosalie were helping me to get dressed and tying my shoes. Both the shirt and sweat pants were too big, and I was remembering my earlier request for a bra. But beggars could not be choosers… or something like that. Esme must have read my mind; maybe Moms could do that, because she took Rose's coat from her and helped me into it. With help I zipped up the front- better. I managed to climb into the wheelchair with minimal help and was soon rolling out the door along with my tubes and wires. Carlisle put the purple bracelet with big white letters, 'DNR', on my wrist, and I was leaving this horrible place. I didn't even want to say goodbye to anyone…

"WAIT!" I shouted and the wheelchair came to an immediate halt. "Carlisle, I have to say bye to Kathryn, my nurse." He nodded and stepped away. "She is the only nice one." I explained to Rosalie, Emmett, and Esme. I heard footsteps running down the hallway and turned to face Kathryn.

"So you do have a family. Make sure they take care of you, or else call me and I'll come and kick their butts." Kathryn told me as she hugged me.

"I don't think you have to worry about me not being taken care of." I smiled.

"This is happening so fast! I was just in your room earlier and you were just going to visit them!" She spoke as if they weren't all listening.

"I know! These people are crazy. Like I always said, who would want a dying kid?" I chuckled and winced. "They want me to be in their family and want to buy me clothes and all sorts of stuff. You should come and visit me before I keel over." Thank goodness Kathryn shared my morbid sense of humor, though she rarely showed it in front of other dying children.

"I will, I promise! How long does the doc say you've got?" She asked.

"Three weeks, give or take. You better come within two weeks just to be on the safe side. Oh! You are invited to my funeral, too."

"Can you invite people to your own funeral?"

"Who else has the right to invite people to my funeral, if not me?" We both laughed again. Ouch, I had to stop that.

"I have to get back to work, but I will visit soon." I waved as she ran back down the hall. She was a nice one.

"That concludes all of my goodbyes. Though I would like to tell the red-head to kiss my… butt." I edited at the last moment making everyone laugh. I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize my new family. After a ride in an elevator we were outside. I inhaled the fresh air deeply, and felt the rain on my face. I refused to have an umbrella held over me. "I missed the rain too much. I have been trapped in that hospital for over a year. I want to feel the weather." They let me be, even though Carlisle continued to mumble about things like pneumonia. We stopped at a shiny black car. The door was opened for me, and before I could attempt to stand, Emmett lifted me out of the chair and placed me in the backseat of the car. Before I knew it we were all in the car, and traveling to their house, my new home. I was going home. I was actually sitting in a car with my family, and they were taking me home. I couldn't help but to take a moment to thank God, because obviously miracles do happen, and He must exist.


	4. Chapter 4

**(Author's note: I hope you have enjoyed the story thus far! I am enjoying writing it J If you have any suggestions, review or PM me, please! Also if you haven't seen the movie My Sister's Keeper, it is really good and you should watch it! It is mentioned in this chapter (Yes, I am watching it as I write this note and the chapter), but if you haven't seen it… It is about a girl whose sister has cancer. Spoiler alert! In the movie the sister with cancer dies at the end. The book has a very different ending. Warning: They both contain some sexual content and some pretty bad language. Sorry this note is so long! I'll let you continue reading now!**

**Lots of love to all of my readers!**

**Grimelissa Fawn Waters)**

"Honey, wake up, we are home." I opened my eyes to see I had fallen asleep on Emmett. He didn't look upset or awkward so I stayed where I was.

"I'm tired." I whispered and closed my eyes again. I felt Emmett scoop me up and carry me somewhere. Eventually I was laying on something soft and a blanket was placed over me. The blanket was warm and comfortable, unlike the ones in a hospital. Upon realizing this I opened my eyes. I was lying on a white couch, in the middle of what looked to be a living room. Everyone else was sitting in one of the chairs, watching TV, or standing and talking. I tried to find the Cullen I had yet to meet, and spotted him. After repositioning myself so I was sitting up more I called to him.

"Hey Jasper." He took an extremely slow deep breath and clenched his fists. Wow, he was an introvert.

"Hello, it is nice to meet you." His voice was surprisingly deep. I gave him a gentle smile. I could tell he was a good guy by the way Alice was looking at him. I rubbed my eyes and stretched, trying to wake up more. According to the clock on the wall it was only seven. It was not acceptable for me to sleep now.

"Rosalie?" I asked, and she was instantly at my side.

"What do you need, babe?" I liked the nickname.

"Where is a bathroom?"

"I'll show you, let me help you up." I shook my head, stubbornness kicking in.

"I'd prefer to do what I can by myself, while I can." She took a step back. I struggled with the blanket, and then with my tubes and wires. It took a few minutes, but with some effort I was standing up. "Lead the way." I told her. She was very patient, walking at my slow pace. The house was huge, and the nearest bathroom was down a long hallway. About half way there I stopped and leaned against the wall.

"Do you want me to help you? You are light as a feather, I could carry you. Or you could just lean on me. What do you want me to do?" Rosalie asked worriedly.

"I want to do this myself. I just needed a break." With a grunt I pushed myself away from the wall and continued down the hallway. When we finally reached the bathroom door I felt I had accomplished a small victory, and grinned ear to ear. "I told you I could do it." I said before shutting the door. While using the bathroom and washing my hands I could not help but to admire the shower, which was filled with an assortment of soaps, shampoos, conditioners, and other bottles I didn't know how to identify. How long had it been since I had a good, long, hot shower? Too long. But that was something I wouldn't be able to do myself, and I was too modest to ask for help. I looked in the mirror above the sink and sighed. The girl in the reflection was not me. I was not this broken, sickly girl- but I was stuck in her body. I locked the bathroom door before looking in the mirror again. I untied my scarf and put it on the sink. My head was no longer shiny bald, but covered in uneven patches of hair, but it was not long enough to say it was hair. It looked more like a guy who hadn't shaved in a couple days face. The girl in the mirror was ugly and way too skinny. She had dark bags under her eyes and pale skin. There was no sparkle left in her blue eyes, but there were tears. I sniffled and wiped the tears away.

What had happened to me? I used to be a fighter, and now I had given up on everything. I was just another sad, dying kid. If I could have a family, surely I could beat cancer… Couldn't I? After a deep breath I was able to clear my head. No, I could not beat cancer, but I could enjoy the time I had left. There was a knock on the door.

"Are you alright?" Rosalie asked.

"Uh yeah. I'll be out in a minute." I began tying the scarf on my head again. The ends of it were frayed from overuse. With one last look in the mirror I plastered a smile on my face and opened the door. "All done." I told her, then looked down the long hallway.

"Everything okay?" She asked.

"I can't do it again. I can't walk all the way back." I told her, defeated.

"Well, how about you walk as far as you can, and then when you need to lean on me, you can. If you need me to carry you, I will." I followed her advice and started walking. After only a few steps I wrapped my arm around her waist and leaned on her as I kept walking. She wrapped her arm around me and half carried me the rest of the way. There was almost no weight on my feet, but I kept moving them anyways. By the time I was back to the couch I was out of breath. My stomach growled and I tried to ignore the hunger.

"Eating equals pain." I whispered a reminder to myself.

"Are you hungry?" Esme asked me. I shook my head.

"No." I lied. Of course I was hungry; my body couldn't keep food in it. I was almost always hungry, but the pain that came from throwing up was greater than the pain of being hungry.

"Are you sure you don't want to eat anything? If your body is hungry, you need to eat. I know you do not like eating, but you need to eat." Carlisle supplied.

"No, I don't want to eat. I would like some water though?" I said to satisfy them. Esme left the room and returned with a champagne glass of water. These people were fancy. "A normal glass would have sufficed." I smiled and sipped the water slowly.

"What do you mean?" She asked me. Edward took her by the elbow and pulled her out of the room, along with Alice. I rolled my eyes at their weirdness and looked at the television. Baseball was on and I was already bored. Jasper looked over at me curiously.

"Here." He handed me the remote at an arm's length. "Atlanta is way ahead anyways." He told me. I began flipping through the channels and was amazed at how many channels they actually had. I settled on the national news; I only got local in the hospital.

"Hey, who won for president?" I asked anyone who would answer.

"Obama won… at the beginning of this year." Emmett informed me. I sighed.

"He's the black one, right?" I asked and everyone laughed. "Hey! I have been trapped in a hospital for a long time! And believe it or not, I never paid much attention to politics." They were still laughing, so I decided to pull out my biggest excuse. "I had bigger things to worry about, I am dying- remember?" Ah, the silence was instantaneous. I stuck my tongue out at them.

"Yes he is the black one, and we're sorry. We did not mean to laugh at you." Emmett said looking guilty.

"Hey, I only have a short period of time to use that excuse, and I plan on using it to its full effect." He looked like he was concentrating very hard for a minute.

"That's kinda cruel, playing the 'I'm dying' card. If I were you, I'd only save it for the big stuff. It will work better that way." I took his opinion under consideration.

"I'll think about it." Rosalie was walking by, so I grabbed her hand to stop her. "Sit with me?" I asked. She sat at the end of the couch, with my feet on her lap. "So what do you guys usually do for fun around here?" Edward appeared out of nowhere and slapped Emmett on the back of the head.

"Emmett, no!" Rosalie shouted at him. Did I not want to know the answer? I waited for an explanation.

"Alice is addicted to shopping, Edward is obsessed with music, and Emmett and Jasper are constantly making bets, playing games, and wrestling. Esme enjoys gardening, interior, and exterior designing." Rosalie told me.

"What about you?"

"I play music, too, and help Esme with her designs. I read and write, shop with Alice, and most of the time I am supervising Emmett. He is like a giant kid, who cannot be left alone." This peaked my interest.

"What kind of trouble does he get into?"

"Every kind. He loves pranks and inappropriate jokes, he breaks things a lot, and is just constantly in trouble." She laughed fondly.

"That's not so bad. He could be worse." So quickly that I couldn't be sure it happened, a look of extreme pain flashed across her face. She recomposed herself so quickly that I was unsure if I had actually seen it.

"Yes, yes he could. I am extremely blessed to have a guy like him." I yawned unintentionally.

"Do you want to go to bed?" Jasper asked. I was exhausted, but wanted to stay up as long as they did.

"I'll go to sleep when you guys do." I told him.

"We stay up late, and if you are tired you should go to bed. The quicker you go to sleep, the sooner you will wake up." Emmett told me.

"Fine, I'll go to sleep… Where do I sleep at?"

"Alice and Esme aren't done decorating your room yet, but you will sleep in there." I real bed. I was going to sleep in a real bed. I was excited.

"Show me the way." I told Rosalie and tried to get up. The pain in my stomach increased and I laid back down. How would I do this?

"Do you want me to carry you? Or Emmett?" She looked scared.

"Want? Not particularly. But, I think it may be necessary." She scooped me up into her arms and carried me easily. Emmett walked behind us carrying my IV pole. We went up a flight of stairs and down several hallways; this house was a maze. We stopped in front of a door similar to all the others. Emmett opened it and I gasped. It was beautiful. The walls were the same off-white as the rest of the house, and the carpet was the same as well. The furniture was made of smooth black and ivory wood, and the bedspread was a deep violet with intricate ivory patterns. Rosalie laid me on the bed and helped me to get under the covers.

"Do you need anything else?" Emmett asked.

"No. Thank you for everything. This room is amazing." I told them before the exhaustion caught up with me and I fell asleep.

_I was lying in bed, unable to move, scream, or even breathe. I was dying and I was terrified. Paralyzing was the fear and pain as my stomach tortured me. Blood seemed to seep from all of my pores and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I tried to scream, but couldn't open my mouth. Death was supposed to be peaceful, not torturous. Is this what Rose felt like during her last moments on earth? Where was my family? Where were the people who said they would be here when I died? Why was I all alone? Why would they leave me, why would they break all of the promises? I tried to scream their names but I was frozen. The blood that before was seeping from my pores was now drowning me in a red pool. I was surrounded by the hot liquid. The room disappeared in the blood and I was drifting painfully in the river of blood that felt more like a river of lava. I wished death to come quicker and to end my agony. I continued screaming._

"Darling, wake up. You're safe, you're okay. I'm right here; we're right here. Wake up, darling." A gentle voice said from somewhere in the distance. I could feel myself being held by familiar cold, hard arms. I managed to remember to open my eyes and through the darkness I could see that I was being held by Esme while Carlisle tampered with my IV pole and the different things hanging from it. I gasped, clutched my stomach, and let out a loud cry. I was awake, so why wasn't the pain gone? I squeezed my eyes shut so the tears would not fall down my cheeks. I was covered in sweat and horribly uncomfortable.

"Sweetheart, you have a very high fever." Carlisle told me.

"It… hurts…" I whimpered.

"I know it does, but the new medicine I have you on should start helping soon. I just upped the dosage. Tell me everything that is wrong, please. There may be something else I can do to help you." I took a few (painful) deep breaths and tried to find the strength to talk.

"Stomach hurts. Hot. Heart pounding." I knew I needed to slow down my heart. If it stopped beating again it would be impossible to restart. I took deep breaths and leaned closer to Esme's icy body. I allowed myself to play into the fantasy that she was my mother and that she truly loved me. Once I was deep into my delusion I felt my heart calm down a little. Mom wrapped an arm around my abdomen and the numbing relief came quickly. I let her hold me, like a small child, and tried to fall back asleep. They must have thought I was sleeping, because they began to talk in hushed tones.

"The poor baby, I wish there was something more I could do. I just feel so helpless, Carlisle."

"You are doing exactly what she needs you to do; you are mothering her. She may be sixteen, but she needs a mother more than anything else right now. All we can do is try to keep her comfortable and show her that she is loved. She is only going to be in more and more pain, and the only solution is medication that will keep her asleep." Something cold touched my forehead.

"I can still hear her screaming for us, for all of us. Do you think it was the pain or a nightmare?"

"It could easily have been both. Her fever is pretty high, so I wouldn't be surprised if she was having a nightmare, or even if she had started hallucinating. I started the new meds a few hours ago, but obviously I didn't give her enough. She tries so hard to hide her pain that it is often hard to judge what she needs." Dad's voice was soft and soothing, though his words hurt me. I did not mean to make his life and work more difficult.

"She dreamed that she was dying. She was alone and drowning in her blood. She was in a lot of pain as well. She is awake and listening to everything we say." Another voice spoke more loudly. Someone stroked my cheek.

"Go back to sleep." Mom whispered, and I obeyed willingly.

I stretched my knees until my knees popped and attempted to roll from lying in my side to lie in my back. I came in contact with something hard and my eyes flew open. I had to blink back tears when I saw that I was being held, and the events of the night before raced in my mind. I looked away and blinked back tears at the thought that she actually stayed and held me all night. Once my vision was cleared I turned to face her.

"Good morning, did you get enough sleep?" Mom asked… or was it Esme? Which should I have referred to her as? In some foster homes it was ordinary to refer to the foster parents as Mom and Dad, or Pops in one case.

"I slept well. You did not have to stay with me, you know?" I tried not to blush, cry, or do anything else potentially embarrassing.

"Yes, I did. I have never heard anyone scream so loud or look so afraid. What happened to make you scream like that?" She hugged me closer.

"Oh… I had a bad dream. I get those a lot, so you probably shouldn't come running every time you hear me screaming. Last night was a particularly bad one." I grimaced remembering being paralyzed, alone, and surrounded by blood.

"Carlisle believes that it may have had something to do with your fever. Your temperature spiked to 104 last night. An hour ago it was back down to 99, which is quite a relief." I could hear the terror, masked unwell, in her voice.

"I'm okay now. I am alright. Please don't worry." I hesitantly put my hand on her cheek. "Try not to get too attached; it will help if you only think of me as a stranger who just happens to be living in your house. The fever thing happens a lot, too. If it is too much for you to deal with, I am sure the hospital has plenty of vacant rooms I could occupy. I really don't want you to lose sleep over me." I instructed.

"Darling, I love you. I think I can speak for the whole family, and say that we all love you. You have won our hearts in such a short period of time, but it's true. You need not to worry about me, or any of us, but only worry about yourself." Now she was speaking out of obligation. All the foster parents and workers at the group homes played the "you-are-loved" card, when needed. Her voice sounded so sincere, and so honest. I had to fight the urge to believe her.

"Thanks for saying that." I responded and pushed on the bed to sit up. She let go of me and I got out of bed and looked around the room. The new medication must have started working, because I felt a thousand times better than the night before. I opened one of the doors on the wall opposite of the bed and saw a small closet that was stuffed to maximum capacity with clothes. I grabbed a t-shirt, a bra, clean underwear, and some yoga pants. All of which were on hangers, so I hung them in my IV pole and opened the second door, which was a private bathroom. I smiled and turned to ask Esme about it, but she had already disappeared. I shrugged and went in it. After using the bathroom, changing underwear and pants, and brushing my teeth I was much too tired to change my top. I sat on the toilet lid and rested my head on the counter that a dozen beauty products sat on. I wanted to call for someone to help me, but didn't want to bug these nice people more than necessary. After a few minutes I pushed myself up and finished dressing. I glanced in the mirror and noticed my old tattered scarf was about to fall off my head. I tightened the knot and set out on the adventure of finding the living room, or wherever else the family hung out.

With me being me, I did not make it that far. After traveling through several hallways and down half a flight of stairs I leaned against the wall and dropped to the floor. It was too much. After a while Jasper appeared, but stayed half a dozen steps away.

"Do you need assistance?" He asked.

"Assistance would be nice." I sighed.

"I'll go find someone to help you." He turned around.

"Could you help me?" I asked him, not wanting him to be afraid of me, or hate me. Whatever was going on in his mind, I did not like it.

"I could, but I am afraid I will cause more damage than help you." I shook my head.

"Believe it or not, I am not as fragile as I look." This made him smile. I held my arms out towards him and he helped me onto my feet. He looped his arm through mine, and we carefully (and slowly) walked down the stairs and ended up in the kitchen. He sat me on a barstool and looked around confused.

"I'll get Esme to make you breakfast." He ran away before I could thank him. Esme entered the kitchen in clean clothes and her hair fixed in a sloppy bun.

"What would you like to eat, dear?" She asked.

"Has everyone else already eaten?" I asked and looked at the clock on the stove. It was already past nine.

"Jasper and I have, but everyone else went out for breakfast. What would you like to eat?" I thought about it.

"I haven't had good cereal in a long time. Do you have any cereal with milk?" It would be weir if they didn't. Who did not have cereal in milk in their house?

"Of course." She went to the pantry and got out a brand new cereal box. She opened it and a new jug of milk and poured them in a china bowl. These people were very fancy. While eating my cereal I noticed the intricate patterns on the spoon. I was dining like the rich, and enjoying rainbow colored, sugar filled, cereal. What would come next, cloth napkins? Some coffee would have been nice, but knew that the caffeine would have negative effects on my heart. The amount of sugar in the cereal was probably not too good for me, either. Not caring enough to stop eating, I shoveled another spoonful into my mouth. It tasted delicious and filled my empty stomach. I had forgotten what happened when I ate, so when my stomach starting hurting again and I felt nauseas, I was unprepared. Esme had left me alone and both the trashcan and the sink were on the other side of the kitchen. I did my best to try and make it to one in time, but failed. My cereal did not look nearly as appetizing on the fancy hardwood floors and mixed with blood. I gripped my IV pole for balance as tears rolled down my face. To make it worse Jasper appeared and stood in the doorway, staring at me. Esme ran up behind him and pulled him away by the shoulders. She returned and stood in front of me for a minute before moving to help me. She guided me to the couch in the living room and helped me sit down.

"I am so sorry. I didn't mean to barf all over your floor. I was trying to get to the trashcan and…" She cut me off.

"I am sorry. Carlisle said that you wouldn't want to be constantly watched and that you would want to do most things on your own, so I was leaving you alone unless you called for me. I should have remembered that you would get sick. I am sorry. Don't worry about the floor, I will clean it up and it will be like nothing ever happened." She told me and smiled.

"Your eyes… they were gold this morning, but they are black now." They did not look like contacts, but what else could it be? "And I'll clean up the mess I made I just…" I didn't even finish the sentence, because we both knew that I was unable to do it. If I could even make it to the kitchen and get on the floor, I would never get up.

"I'll be back in a few minutes." She handed me the remote and left. My stomach didn't hurt as bad as it usually did; it must have been the new medication. I grinned when I saw the new episode of my favorite Spanish soap-opera was playing. I turned it on and turned the volume up loud. A girl, not much older than I, was standing in a bathroom clutching a pregnancy test and sobbing. She was wiping her eyes when a guy, whom I assumed was her boyfriend, walked in and saw the test. She started shouting at him and I had to control my laughter. If it was in English, I was sure she would have been shouting

"This is all your fault!" and it would have been even more funny, because it takes two to tango. An older woman, who could have easily been either teen's grandmother, came in and started yelling. I laughed some more.

"Do you have any idea what they are saying?" Jasper asked. I turned around and saw both he and Esme were standing in the entrance to the room.

"No, I speak strictly English. That is why I enjoy watching these soap-operas." I smiled at them and turned back to the TV. The guy was now down on his knees, probably asking the girl to marry him, but she was still shouting and crying.

"Do you want to know what is going on? You won't be laughing if you know." He told me. Apparently I was the only one in the room who was not fluent in Spanish.

"No. I am pretty sure most of these shows would make me cry if I actually understood what they were saying. I missed the first episode of this show, so I am probably missing a key piece of information. I'd much rather prefer to enjoy it this way." He nodded.

"You should change the channel before Rose gets home." He added off handedly and left the room. Esme approached me tentatively.

"I don't think you should be watching this show. If you knew what they are saying, the foul language they are using, and the situation they are in… I don't think you would watch this." I nodded. Gain a family, lose my soaps. I handed her the remote.

"Put it on whatever channel you deem appropriate." I told her, not wanting to argue. She laughed and sat beside me.

"Why don't we watch a movie? We have nearly every movie you could imagine." I believed her.

"Hmm… Do you have 'My Sister's Keeper', '50/50', or 'Letters to God'?" I asked.

"Are you sure you want to watch those kinds of movies?"

"You mean movies about cancer? Seeing as I live with it on a daily basis, I think I will be fine. I haven't seen any of the movies, but a peer counselor told me that a lot of kids in 'my situation'" Yes, I did the finger quotation marks. "love these movies. That was when I was first told the cancer was back." She nodded and looked through the cabinets.

"Which would you like to watch first?" She asked.

"It is up to you." I told her. She put in a movie and returned to her seat beside me. "Would Jasper like to watch the movie?" I asked her.

"Hm, I don't know." She thought for a moment. "Jasper?" She called loudly. It was almost crazy how quickly he was standing in front of us. "She wanted to ask you something." She told him.

"I just wanted to see if you would be interested in watching the movie with us." I asked.

"It is 'My Sister's Keeper'." Esme added.

"A chick flick?" He questioned.

"From my understanding it is about a girl with cancer and her sister." I informed him.

"I've got nothing better to do." He plopped down in a chair and the previews came on. "Fast forward through the previews, would you Esme?" Esme… Mom?... did as she was asked of. She was just hitting the play button when Alice came running in the room.

"I know you aren't about to watch a movie without us!" She yelled in her shrill voice. She sat on Jasper's lap and watched the television intently. Rosalie came and sat beside me, Carlisle sat in a chair, and Edward and Emmett stretched out on the floor.

"Aw not this movie! Rosie made me watch it last year and I cried!" Emmett's loud voice boomed. I giggled at the thought of him crying.

"Sh!" Someone shushed and everyone grew quiet. We weren't even halfway through the movie when I shifted and laid my head on Esme's lap and rested my feet on Rosalie's lap. They did not seem to mind this. The movie was depressing and I couldn't stop the twinge of jealousy I felt for the main character. She was surrounded by family and people who loved her. Even from the beginning her Mom and Dad were willing to do anything to take care of her. I rolled my eyes when I saw that she had a boyfriend, especially a sick one. One of them would die first, and the other would be all sad… And I was right (as always). I closed my eyes to rest them, only for a minute. I could still hear what was happening in the movie…

"Wake up, babe." I opened my eyes to see Rosalie's face an inch away from mine. I jerked back, hitting my head on Esme's stomach.

"I'm awake!" I shouted and she moved away. The credits were playing on the TV screen. "Spoiler alert, she died." I announced and sat up.

"How do you know?" Edward asked.

"The music in the movie was sad, which means it has a sad ending. Plus I am good at judging when people when die. It is a talent I picked up between hospitals." I chuckled.

"Really?" Carlisle seemed interested. "When will I die?" He asked. I scrunched up my nose in distaste.

"That is what bothers me most about you and your family. I can't tell. It feels like you are going to live forever. Maybe that is just wishful thinking. I try not to think about it too much." He nodded and left the room. Edward followed him as if he had been told to do so, but I heard nothing. Esme got up and Rosalie sat back down beside me. Everyone else slowly cleared the room.

"So what do you want to do?" She asked. "You said you wanted to spend time with me. Well, I'm here. So what do you want to do or talk about?" Her voice was so warm and kind that for a second, a sliver of a second, she sounded like what I imagined my mother would sound like. Not my birth mother, but the mother I always imagined.

"Nothing in particular… I just wanted to spend time with you. I like you. You seem familial." I shrugged.

"Well thank you. I like you too. Would you like me to paint your nails? You look like you could use a manicure."

"I would like that very much." I told her. She left and returned with a container of polishes.

"Alice wanted to join us, but I told her to be patient and wait her turn. I also told her I am your favorite." She smiled mischievously.

"You can't tell her that!" I exclaimed.

"Is it not the truth?" I bit my lip.

"I feel like no matter what I say, it will end badly. I just got here, and I don't want to be sent back to the hospital, so I am not saying anything." It was true though. Out of all my foster siblings, Rosalie was my favorite. It was odd, because she felt more motherly than sisterly.

"Carlisle and Esme will not send you back to the hospital, I promise. Even if they tried, Emmett and I would snatch you up. Pick a color for your nails." She told me.

"You pick, and I really wish everyone would cool it with the fake enthusiasm. I think it is really nice what all of you are doing, and I know I said I wanted people to pretend before, but please spread the word I don't want fake love." She began painting my nails purple, matching my bedspread upstairs.

"I cannot speak for everyone, but I am not faking. You are like a daughter, or a sister to me. You and I are closer than you think. Do you still want to change your name?"

"Thanks, and yes. What should my name be?"

**(Another author's note! What should Iona change her name to? Should it include Rose? Should it include Vera? I am open to suggestions because I have no idea what to name her! Please help me?)**


	5. Chapter 5

"I like the name you had originally picked out. I think that your grandmother would be honored for you to be named after her." Rosalie told me.

"Vera Rose? But, your nickname is Rose and I don't want to take that from you." She smiled, but I could see she wasn't smiling on the inside. Something was wrong, very wrong. "What's wrong. You can tell me anything, I can handle it. I am a good secret keeper; I'll take it to the grave. Plus, I am in no position to judge anyone." I tried to get her to open up to me.

"You are just… You remind me of someone I was very close to. You also remind me of what I can't have, a child of my own. You won't understand this, but you are a dream come true for me. It's not fair though, because you deserve to live." I nodded understandingly.

"Is it better to have loved and have lost than never to have loved at all? I have never put much thought into having children. When I was ten years old, a doctor told me that chemo can cause infertility. In the next few sentences she gave me the sex talk. So my dreams of having children went away before they came to be. I do understand that life is not fair, but we can't all get what we want. Some people want to live and have to die; others want to die but have to live. I think everything happens for a reason, and there is a reason that I have to die. I want to stay with you and your family forever, but that is not possible." She turned away from me and her shoulders started shaking. Uncertainly, I wrapped my arms around her, to comfort her. It is what I would have wanted her to do if I was crying.

"What if you could live forever with us? I mean it, if you had the option to stay with us forever, would you?" She asked when she finally turned back to face me. Her eyes shined with unshed tears. Her beautiful face was so heartbroken that it made me want to cry as well.

"I don't think people can just live forever. Even if it were possible, there would have to be some kind of repercussions. It would all depend on the situation." I rubbed her arm.

"What if the repercussions were that you'd become a killer, but you did not have to kill… you could resist it and find another way to survive? And that you are frozen at this age, at this stage in life, forever?" She sounded really serious.

"Are you and Emmett into voodoo or black magic or something? Because he was asking about me becoming immortal, too. Or, are you a family of immortals or something out of a crazy sci-fi movie? Why does it matter what I would do, when I can't do anything? You need to accept that I am going to die soon. I know it is hard, but it is true." I sighed. "I already explained this to Emmett, my life has no more value than anyone else's. That being said, why would I risk the lives of others just so I could selfishly stay with the people I…" I had to stop myself from saying 'love'. How awful would that have been? "…want to stay with." I finished lamely.

"I understand. If I had the choice, I would not choose to be immortal either, especially not without you. None of us practice black magic… Alice is a little on the crazy side, but I don't think she is in cahoots with demons or anything." We both laughed. My nails were now beautiful and smooth. She had even painted Ivor designs on all my fingers, so that they matched my bed.

"Thank you for painting my nails, they are beautiful. I would offer to do yours, but I couldn't do anything half as well as these." I said while admiring them.

"Can I come in yet?" Alice whined.

"Sure, why not?" Alice came in the room carrying a change of clothes.

"You have to change clothes. I cannot allow my sister to wear yoga pants and a t-shirt all day. These skinny jeans will look great on you with this jade colored blouse. I have a choker with a jade heart on it you will borrow." She threw the clothes at me as if I had no say in the matter.

"The reason I am wearing these clothes is because they are comfortable. I bruise easily, and getting dressed is hard for me. This is as good as it will get for me. You're going to have to deal with it. I don't think I could wear these jeans and this tight fitting shirt without crying. And the choker sounds like a death trap." I told her, tossing them back.

"But you will look so gorgeous!" She argued.

"But I don't care!" I tried and failed to mimic her lovely voice. She groaned.

"They match your scarf though." She tried again. I shrugged.

"Alice, leave her alone. She can wear whatever she likes." Carlisle reprimanded as he entered the room carrying medical supplies. He poked and prodded at me and changed my IV stuff. I sat still like a good little patient.

"What is my diagnosis doc?" I asked.

"We need to find a way for you to keep some food down. Anything will be beneficial at this point. Also, I told Emmett he can't feed you ice cream for lunch. You need to be more conscientious of your sugar and caffeine intakes. I will help you with that, but only you can decide what to eat. When you drink something, does that cause you to vomit?" He asked sounding professional.

"Sometimes it does. Swallowing hurts, but I can normally handle water. Any form of juice is too painful, like pouring alcohol on a cut. I haven't tried to drink milk without food." He was thoughtful.

"Well, we can start there." He left the room.

"Would you be willing to wear another scarf? One that matched your outfit?" Alice asked.

"Anything to make you stop talking about my clothes." She ran out of the room and returned holding a black and white scarf.

"You want me to help you put it on?" She asked and my stomach dropped.

"No!" I shouted, making she and Rosalie jump. "I'm sorry; I just really don't want anyone to see my head." I told them. They both turned around and I slid my old scarf off my head and replaced it with the new one. "You can turn back around." I told them while tying the scarf.

"You look pretty… can I do your makeup?" Alice asked.

"Sure." She left the room again. Carlisle came back with a glass of milk. "You probably want to bring a trashcan in here before I start drinking this, unless you enjoy scrubbing barf stains out of white carpet." I told him.

"Of course." He left and came back and sat the trashcan from the kitchen in front of me.

"Cheers!" I said and then slowly drank the smooth liquid. I wasn't even halfway through it when my stomach lurched. Someone managed to grab the glass from my hand so it wouldn't drop as the other half of the milk made its reappearance in the trashcan. My stomach hated me. "I throw up when I drink milk." I told him needlessly.

"I can see that, I am sorry I made you try it."

"That's okay doc, you are only trying to prolong my life. At this rate I won't make it my three weeks. I know I am starving." My heart broke when he nodded, but I tried not to show it. "That just means I have to make the best out of the time I have left. If I can't eat anything, and you keep giving my supplements through the IV, how long do you think I have?"

"I told you that I can't give you an expiration date, but if we can't find a way for you to keep food down, I'd say you only have two weeks at the most. I'll do some more research and see if I can find anything helpful." I plastered a smile on my face.

"Don't work yourself too hard doc." I told him. He left the room in a hurry and I turned back to Alice and Rosalie. "Makeover?" I asked. Their expressions were grim. "You can't do that. If you get upset, I will get upset. So let us all suck it up and pile make up on my face." I closed my eyes and relaxed as various brushes applied powders and creams and who knows what else to my face. Someone started painting my toenails while someone else continued with the makeup.

"You have a pretty face; I am just accenting your natural beauty." Alice said after a while. My eyes were still closed. Someone turned on music, and a series of modern songs I did not recognized played.

"What is this song?" I asked whoever was closest to me.

"Baby One More Time by Brittany Spears." Alice informed me.

"Never heard of her." I told Alice and she froze.

"Have you lived under a rock your whole life?" She shrieked. Apparently Brittany was a big deal.

"I don't know a lot of music, especially the modern stuff. I lived with a couple once, an Elvis impersonator and a theater chick. So I know all the words to anything Elvis, and every song from The Sound of Music and Hairspray. Phil and Phyllis Fillmen. They were always busy with their jobs, so they never had time to take me to the doctor. Once I missed three consecutive chemo treatments the state came and took me from them. They were eccentric, but nice." I smiled at the memory, they were beyond eccentric: they were nuts. Phil was convinced he was Elvis reincarnated, though Elvis died _after_ he was born. Phyllis sang nonstop. She would not speak, only sing- at the top of her lungs. She even sang in her sleep. It was creepy.

"Is that really all the music you have been exposed to?" Rosalie asked.

"No, I have heard other music. Elevator music, radios in restaurants, songs in movies, etc. I have always had bigger fish to fry than to memorize the latest and coolest song's lyrics. I haven't always had cancer, but I have always had heart problems. I always had to keep up with when and where my next doctor appointment was and what medicines I needed to take and when to take them. If not, most of the time the adult responsible for me would forget." It got awkward for a beat. "But it wasn't a big deal or anything." I blew it off and Alice started talking about some sort of French designer or something to that effect.

"Open your eyes." Alice told me. I opened them and was staring at my reflection in the mirror Rosalie was holding. My face was covered in makeup, but it didn't look like too much. My skin tone was even, the circles under my eyes were well hidden, and my lips shined with pink gloss. I had to blink back tears when I saw the eyebrows that had artfully been drawn on my face, and the natural looking fake eyelashes. Ugh, why did I have to be so overly emotional? "I can change it if you don't like it. I am sorry… I just thought that…" I shook my head and she shut up.

"It is perfect. Thank you Alice." I whispered and looked away. I blinked a few more times to clear my vision before turning back to examine my toes. They matched my fingers perfectly.

"What do you think?" Rosalie asked.

"Very nice." I complimented her work. "I feel pretty. All I need is hair and I am a normal girl." I smiled at them.

"I have some wigs upstairs that I have experimented with for different reasons." Alice informed me. If anyone else had said it I would have thought them strange, but Alice was so obsessed with fashion that it sounded almost normal.

"No wigs feel terrible on my head. Itchy and… uncomfortable? I don't know. I just can't stand the way they feel. Plus, the idea of wearing a stranger's hair gives me the creeps." She nodded understandingly.

"I get that. It is probably different wearing a wig when you have no hair, than wearing a wig with natural hair." I nodded and admired Rosalie's hair again, which came to her knees. She noticed me staring and I looked away.

"What do you want to do next?" Alice was too excited. A nap would have been nice, but I was not about to be a party pooper.

"I don't care. You should get Esme to hang out with us too." Alice smirked.

"Speak of the devil and he shall come." Rosalie announced. I turned around and saw Esme entering the room.

"You probably shouldn't compare our mother to Satan." I laughed and stuck my tongue out at Rosalie. Everyone stopped for a second before returning to normal. Maybe they were weird about jokes or she took offense to my comment. Too late to take it back now.

"I felt left out being the only girl uninvited." Esme plopped down next to me. "You look absolutely lovely, Iona." I shook my head.

"Vera Rose. It has been decided. I really never like the name Iona. It sounds like the name of someone's grandmother. The people who named me only kept me seven days- why did they get to choose my name anyways? No fair. Ugly name chosen by strangers. Also, Alice and Rosalie are responsible for making me beautiful." I smiled at my artists.

"You were already beautiful, but they did a very good job, Vera." My smile grew when she used my new name. "What are we doing now?" I shrugged.

"We should have a dance party!" Alice exclaimed.

"Are the boys invited?" I questioned.

"They'll show up when they hear how much fun we are having- I know these things." I nodded and she turned up the music louder than I thought possible. I laughed as I watched Alice and Rosalie start dancing together. They were really good and it looked like fun. Just as Alice predicted, the guys arrived one at a time and began dancing with their wives. Edward sat next to me.

"Sorry you don't have anyone to dance with." I told him, yelling over the music.

"I'm not. I am happy alone." I shook my head.

"You think you are, but I bet you'll meet a girl and she will take your breath away."

"I don't think so." I rolled my eyes. Men could be so difficult.

"Would you like to dance?" He asked uneasily.

"If I danced to one song, I would have to take a nap." I smiled at his gesture. A nap did sound nice though…

"You look like you want to take a nap, this way you will have an excuse." He helped me up and I glanced at my IV pole. Almost as if he had read my thoughts he pulled it along with us to where everyone was dancing. The song previously playing ended and the radio host began talking.

"Time for a short change of pace! Up next is Eric Clapton's Tears in Heaven." The song began playing and I blushed. I had never danced with a guy before and had no idea what I was supposed to do. It wasn't like Edward was my boyfriend. That thought was gross. He was totally brotherly, but I was still nervous. He took my hands and put them on his shoulders and put his hands (very carefully) on my sides. The IV pole limited our dancing, so we just swayed side to side a bit. It was not awkward or uncomfortable. It was kind of fun for me. A first for sure. Everyone kept looking at us but I just ignored them. I listened to the lyrics of the song and realized it was very depressing. Oh well, I was enjoying myself. The song ended and I still felt okay.

"Do you feel up to another?" He asked.

"One more. Thank you for doing this." I told him as an upbeat song played. We did not change our positions. Partially because I was using him to support myself and partially because I did not know what else to do.

"I am kind of mad at Alice for doing this. She knows you aren't able to do as much as the rest of us and her idea of entertaining you is dancing and loud music." Alice froze on the other side of the room as if she heard him. That would have been impossible due to the volume of the music, but a look of guilt crossed her face before Jasper got her to start dancing again.

"It is fine! I don't want you guys to act different because I am here. I know I am limited and that is okay." I was truly thankful for Edward asking me to dance, and not pushing me beyond my limits. He seemed to understand what I needed and wanted. "That girl is going to be lucky to have you. She better treat you right or I will come back and haunt her." He grinned and so did I.

"I'll be sure to tell her my ghost of a sister is watching her closely."

"That won't scare her away." My voice was laced with sarcasm. "I don't know what would be worse; telling her you believe in mythical creatures or that one is watching her." Edward grabbed my IV pole and spun me around gently as the song ended. I was a little out of breath, but I was smiling ear to ear. Such a wonderful family had taken me in.

"Should I carry you to your room?" He asked. I blushed again but I knew someone had to do it. There was no way I could make it that far. I did not want him to feel obligated to help me, but I needed the assistance. Maybe Rosalie could do it. "It is no problem, I assure you." I nodded. He scooped me up effortlessly and I pulled my IV pole along. When we reached the stairs Edward readjusted me so he was holding the IV pole as well. Was I really that light? I couldn't even carry my IV pole, and he was carrying it and me with ease. Once I was laying on the bed Edward stared at me disturbingly.

"Are you okay?" I asked. He left the room without a word. I knew I should have asked Rosalie.

"Wake up Vera." I opened my eyes to see Emmett standing over me. "Carlisle wants you to eat dinner. I think he made a smoothie or something for you to try. I could bring it to you, or I could carry you downstairs. If you think you can walk we can try that, too. Just tell me what to do." His voice was very low, soft, and unlike him.

"Why are you talking like that?" I asked.

"Carlisle said that if I scared you too much you could have a heart attack and die." He looked terrified, like I was going to stop breathing any second. This was going to be fun.

"I'm fine. Be as loud as you want, really." He laughed.

"ALRIGHT! I'LL BE LOUD!" He shouted. I gasped and clutched my chest. I made my breath come out in short gasps, and then stopped breathing all together. I held my breath until tears ran down my face. Emmett stood frozen as a statue then leaned in quickly with his mouth open. Afraid of him giving me mouth to mouth, I started breathing again. Once I caught my breath I started laughing until I could not see straight. It hurt my stomach, but I ignored it. "W-what just happened?"

"I… got you… sooo good…." I said between laughs. "The look on your face… was… priceless!" He looked like he was going to cry.

"I thought I killed you! That's not funny!" He was shaking a little.

"You're right, it was hilarious! I thought you like jokes?" I asked. He smiled a little, then laughed.

"That was a good one, but if you do it to Esme I think she'll have a nervous breakdown."

"I wouldn't do that to her. Just you. You are special." I winked at him flirtatiously and he froze again. "Dude, you are practically my brother. Do you not get jokes?"

"Seriously, do not joke like that in front of Rose. She will rip you to shreds." I sighed.

"You are no fun. Carry me to the kitchen." I ordered. He carried me and my IV pole to the kitchen and set me down. His muscles were huge and I suspected steroids. Carlisle, Esme, and Edward were in the kitchen and it looked like they were trying to figure out how to use a blender. "Emmett thought I was hitting on him." I announced, trying to embarrass him. Everyone stared at him and me.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked. Everyone was serious. Gee, these people were tense.

"Oh my goodness, none of you knows how to joke. Laugh at my lame attempts at humor! Believe it or not Emmett, I am not attracted to you in the slightest. But I am sure you think everyone is attracted to you." Still everyone was serious. I had made things awkward and stuck my foot in my mouth. I thought about packing my bags and returning to the hospital. I screwed up. I had thought Emmett was into joking and pranks, but apparently he was stiff as a board. These were classy, no-nonsense, serious people. The thought of factually flirting with Emmett was repulsive actually sickening to me. Edward burst out laughing and everyone stared between him and me.

"You are right. Emmett does think everyone is attracted to him. They need to learn how to laugh more, too. We all do." I nodded nervously. I should have not said anything. "No, you were right to." My eyes grew wide as saucers. How had he known what I was thinking? That wasn't possible, was it? More importantly, what would I do if he could read minds? Nothing. I would be embarrassed, but I would do nothing. It would be freaky and weird, but not worth losing my new family over. "It is freaky and weird. Esme would love it if you talked about us like you thought of us… for the most part." My face burned red and I covered it with my hands. Deep breaths. How much did he know? How much had heard of my thoughts? What embarrassing things had I thought of?

"Then tell Emmett I am not remotely in to him, please? I assume I am the only one who doesn't know about your… thing." I did not know what else to call it.

"Emmett, when she thinks about flirting with you, she wants to vomit. She would no quicker make a move on you than you would on Esme or Alice." He shuddered and the question of why they called Carlisle and Esme Carlisle and Esme returned to my thoughts.

"Most of us were adopted when we were older, and it's just the way we refer to them. All of us respect them, but I was introduced to them as Carlisle and Esme, so that is just the way I think of them." The mind reading thing would take some getting used to. Edward answered my unspoken question. What would I give to call them Mom and Dad? To want to call, and be able to call anyone Mom and Dad? "If you did that they might cry." Edward whispered in my ear then left the room. I was not in the mood for waterworks.

"It's annoying and takes a lot of getting used to." Emmett told me. "Try surprising him- it is impossible." Emmett left the room and it was just Carlisle, Esme, and I.

"What is for lunch, doc?" I asked trying to avoid anyone crying.

"I thought that maybe a smoothie would be gentler on your stomach, and easier to swallow. I administered more medication while you slept. I hope you do not mind." I shook my head.

"I am used to people messing with me while I sleep. I lived in a hospital. I once woke up in the middle of a bed bath. I now have a fear of waking up naked in the presence of someone who is washing me." Too much information, Vera. TMI.

"Well I don't think you'll have to worry about that here." Esme told me.

"Good because I totally flipped out, bit the nurse, and they ended up sedating me and doing a psych evaluation." Too much information was being given and I needed to shut up.

"I would react similarly." Esme informed me.

"Then I guess we are both crazy." What I was afraid to add was 'like mother, like daughter'.

"Add it or I will for you." Edward shouted from somewhere in the house.

"You wouldn't." I shouted back.

"She thought 'like mother, like daughter', but is scared that you'll be mad or reject her or something." I hid my face behind my hands. I hated him. "No you don't Vera." He added. Esme had both arms wrapped tightly wrapped around me. I could not breathe. I didn't think I was that fragile, but I was in extreme pain. She was going to kill me. I tried to get out of her arms, but it was no use. What a pleasant way to die; hugged to death. Much better than my heart stopping or starving or throwing up too much blood. "YOU'RE KILLING HER!" Edward yelled and Esme immediately released me. I fell on the floor and gasped for air. I didn't even try to get up or wipe my tears away. Sweet oxygen entered my lungs eagerly.

"It's okay, take deep breaths." Carlisle sat me up and supported my back. When I was able to breathe somewhat properly I looked at the one who attempted to murder me.

"Lighter on the hugs, Esme." I told her. She left the room looking like she was crying. I didn't want to make her cry, but I didn't think I'd live through another hug if I called her 'Mom'. "Can you go get her?" I requested of Carlisle.

"Can you get up by yourself?" He asked and I nodded. He left swiftly and I used the IV pole to pull myself up. I walked back to my seat and sat down. I could feel bruises forming, but that wasn't unusual. I bruised very easily- maybe the cancer was in my blood, too. Only Carlisle knew that answer.

"I am so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, I promise. I would never hurt you, purposely." Esme stood a good ten feet away from me, blinking back unshed tears.

"It's fine. I didn't think I was that fragile. You didn't do any damage and I know you wouldn't hurt me." She nodded.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "So, so sorry." I opened my arms toward her. She didn't come forward and hug me, which hurt more than if she would have squeezed the life out of me. My heart felt like it dropped into my stomach, but I just let my arms drop to my sides. I always screwed things up. She didn't want to hug me. What was I thinking? Just because it happened once, didn't mean it would happen again. I was so stupid. I dropped my eyes to my lap and waited for her to leave me alone. I would not give her the satisfaction of seeing me cry. Instead I let the tears fall silently down my face and into my lap. Rejection stung. "Oh gosh, don't cry baby." She stood next to me, still careful not to make contact with me. "Please don't cry. Do anything but cry. Does it hurt? Where does it hurt? Maybe Carlisle should examine you." I sniffled. Stupid teenage girl sensitivity.

"I'm fine." I told myself more than her. How had I been so stupid as to think I was gaining a family? I had led myself to believe they cared as much about me as I did about them. Another tear fell from my eyes and I wiped my face quickly. I had lasted sixteen years alone and I could last a little longer. "I'm fine." I said with more confidence in my voice than before. I looked her in the eyes. "I am perfectly fine. I have been motherless all my life and I'll be motherless the rest of my life. I can see that now. It was my fault that I thought that things were changing for me, but I can see now that they are not. Sorry for the confusion." I told her. She started crying, I mean full on sobbing. I just wanted her to stop. It broke my heart to see her so upset. I didn't know what to say to make her stop crying, or to comfort her. I tried to rub her arm the way she and rubbed mine when I had thrown up and cried in the hospital, but she jerked away from my touch. "Did I screw up that badly?" I mumbled under my breath while keeping a poker face. I had honestly thought that she cared about me. That's what I get for getting my hopes up.

"You didn't do anything wrong, I did." I nodded.

"Yeah, you did." I surprised myself by saying. "You led a pathetic girl into believing you actually cared about her." Her expression changed in an instant. She went from sad to furious.

"I do care about you! You are the one telling _me_ that you don't want me to be your mother!" Something that sounded like a growl escaped from her body and goose bumps covered me. She took a step forward and I jerked back completely terrified. Jasper ran into the room and stepped between us. I was shaking in fear. Unable to look away from her angry black eyes I sat tense without moving. Was she violent under the kind exterior? She looked frightening. Jasper and Esme shared a quiet conversation and I did not dare to move a muscle.

"Vera, Esme loves you. She is afraid she will hurt you again. If I am not mistaken, you think that she was pushing you away or rejecting you. She loves you, you love her, hug _gently_ and make up." He stepped out of the way, but I was still too afraid to move. Esme's expression had softened, but I was still terrified. She took a step forward and I leaned back more. What the heck was up with these people? Mood swings, growls, mind reading, beauty, and strength. I couldn't run away. I wouldn't make it out the door before pain and exhaustion took over. If I did make it out of the house, the running would cause my heart to stop. What had I gotten myself into? There was only one thing I was sure of: my heart was racing and I had to get it to stop. My chest hurt and I clutched it as my heart pounded louder and harder. I was too scared to close my eyes and take the deep breaths I needed to take in order to calm down. The pain in my chest increased and I recognized what was going to happen if I did not calm down. I was going to have my last heart attack.

**(Author's note: I ****_really really really_**** wanted to stop here and leave you with a major cliff hanger. I couldn't do that, because I would be soooo mad if my favorite writer on here did that to me. PS If you are looking for some amazing fanfics, read anything by the writer EmilyF.6 I have read all of her twilight fanfics, and they are the best I have read. No joke. I aspire to write as well as her. If you do read any of her stories, and you love them, review them for her? Please? Back to story now…)**

My eyes blurred with tears and I felt someone lay me down. None of it mattered to me; all I cared about was the pain in my chest. I could hear people talking but they seemed far away.

"She is faking. She did it to me earlier." I recognized Emmett's voice.

"You need to calm your heart down, Vera. You can do it." Carlisle told me. I couldn't do anything but feel the intense pain. I was terrified. I didn't want to die like this.

"I'm so sorry, Darling." I heard Esme over my loud labored breathing. My eyes were squeezed shut tight as I could get them to go. "I love you so much, we all do. We love you. Please, Darling, be okay."

"DO SOMETHING CARLISLE!" Rosalie shouted. He responded with something about a DNR. All I knew was I wanted it to stop hurting.

I couldn't tell if I was screaming or not, but I wanted to. It hurt so bad I couldn't take it. My fists clenched and my nails dug into my skin. I gritted my teeth. Nothing made sense anymore. I was lost in the pain, and then there was nothing but cold arms holding me. I focused on those arms. Someone cared enough to hold me, and I only wanted to be with them. I concentrated on the calming presence of those arms, and another calm that seemed to come from somewhere else enveloped me. My eyes fluttered open and I saw who was holding me.

"Mommy." I cried like a scared little girl. She rocked me back and forth and I clung to her with what little strength I had left. Other people were talking, maybe to me, but I did not give a darn. I only cared about being held by my mother. I wanted to apologize; I wanted to tell her how sorry I was for making her cry. I wanted to tell her that I loved her and beg her to never let me go, but I was too tired. I settled for just being held, and drifted to sleep painlessly.

**(I hope you like this chapter. If not... well I don't really care all that much, because I enjoyed writing it. I am always open for suggestions! I love Esme; she is kind, nice, and sweet... but I can imagine her getting angry too. No one is perfect, certainly not I.)**


	6. Chapter 6

My eyes fluttered open to see Mom holding me while sitting on the couch. I closed my eyes again and turned towards her, relishing in her embrace. It took me another ten seconds or so to realize what I had just done, what I had just thought, and my eyes flew open. I tried to push away from her and get up, but her strong arms wouldn't allow it.

"Shh Darling, what's wrong?" Her voice was soft and gentle. All I knew was I had to get up. Why was I here anyways? What happened? Had I passed out again? It had been a few months since I had passed out. "Do you remember what happened?" She asked sensing my confusion. I resolved to the fact that she was holding me and I would just have to stay… Stay what? I certainly wasn't uncomfortable or unhappy. I felt vulnerable to her while she held me and kept me safe from the rest of the world, and myself.

"What's going on?" I was getting nervous. It didn't help the fact that her shoulders shook and she looked away from me for a long minute.

"What's the last thing you remember?"

"Emmett carried me downstairs… I tried to tell some jokes no one thought were funny…" My mind was filled with the image of Esme angry at me. Her eyes had turned black and she smiled in the most frightening way. Once again I struggled to be released, but this time out of fear.

"You need to calm down, everything is okay now. You are okay." The words didn't sound reassuring, coming from her. To my relief she laid me on the couch, but still sat next to me on it. "What else do you remember?"

"I…I made you mad." I whispered. "Then I woke up and you were holding me." I added. She started crying again. The woman had a mood swing problem. Maybe she was bipolar.

"I'm not mad at you, I love you Vera Rose Cullen. You scared me! You scared us all. You started screaming and holding your chest. Your heart was beating so fast I thought it would surely stop." A heartbreaking whimper escaped from her lips. "We all thought you were going to die. There was little that Carlisle could do, so we just held you and tried to help you calm down. All I could think about was making you feel loved, or at least comfortable, when you died. We all thought you were going to die in my arms." The memory became clearer as she told me about it.

"Emmett thought I was pretending." I whispered. "You aren't going to get angry again, are you?" I added.

"No. I wasn't angry at you. I was never angry at you. I was angry that you had never had anyone to love you. Do you remember what happened after all the pain?" I shook my head slowly. I was exhausted, but wanted to hear the rest of the story.

"I just remember it hurting, and then everything was okay." I pursed my lips in concentration. "Someone was holding me. I knew that even if I died, I was dying with someone who cared about me holding me." Realization dawned on me and my face heated up. "Oh, that must have been you. Then I guess I fell asleep." I felt the familiar chilling fear that I felt each time I almost died. Goose bumps covered my body. I didn't want to die. I took a deep breath. I was dying. I had known this for a long time, and I had accepted it.

"Everything is okay now. Aw Honey, don't cry." She wiped a tear away that I didn't know had fallen.

"I'm not crying." She laughed but did not argue with me. I closed my eyes and was about to fall asleep, but someone was poking and turning me. I opened one eye to see Carlisle in doctor mode.

"You need to take it really easy. You are on bed rest until I tell you otherwise. Do you know what caused you to nearly go into heart failure?" I must have been really tired, because if I was fully awake I would have known not to say what I did. I would have known how bad it would hurt Mom's feelings.

"She scared me to death. Wouldn't have been the first time a foster parent lashed out at me." I rolled over and buried my head in a pillow that seemed to appear out of nowhere. The couch shifted, but I didn't look up to see who sat down or got up. "Before you go to sleep, Rosalie wants to know if she can come in here and talk to you." I nodded and was soon embraced by another pair of cold and hard arms.

"Don't ever do that to me again! I thought I lost you. I can't lose you." Rosalie was crying, hugging me, and rubbing my back.

"I'm sorry I'm going to die. I'm gonna sleep now." I muttered.

Instead of nightmares of dying or being alone, I dreamed of myself being more alive than I had ever felt. I was surrounded by the Cullen family and we were all happy. My hair had grown back and my eyes sparkled gold like theirs usually did. We laughed and talked about nothing of importance. I awoke with a smile on my face. I looked around to see someone had carried me to my room and laid me in bed. The clock on my nightstand said it was six o'clock, but I had no clue if it was morning or evening.

"Are you awake?" Rosalie whispered. She was lying on the other side of my bed.

"Yeah. I'm tired, but what is new with that?" I smiled. "I had a good dream." I told her.

"I know. You sleep talk a lot." I had been told this before, so I was not startled by the information.

"What is everyone doing?" I asked.

"I am talking to you, Em and Jas are playing chess, Edward in his room, Alice is shopping, and Carlisle is trying to console Esme who is still crying." My eyes grew wide. What had I done?

"W-why is she crying?" I whispered, knowing I was the cause.

"Because she nearly killed you and all she wants to do is be your mother." I appreciated Rosalie's honesty. "She didn't mean to frighten you. She loves you so much, more than the rest of us I think. She would never say it out loud, but it's true. Before her favorite was Edward." Rosalie made a face showing annoyance when she spoke Edward's name.

"I overreacted and misread the situation. It was my fault. Mo-Esme would never hurt me… I don't think she would. Has anyone here ever hurt you? This isn't one of those families that start out all nice and turn scary is it?" I asked her.

"No. We are a scary family, but no one here is abusive." A weight I was unaware had existed lifted from my shoulders. "I know Esme can be a scary when she is upset, but why did you react that way? Jasper said you acted like she was going to attack you." She lowered her voice to a whisper and stroked my arm. "You haven't been abused, have you?" I shook my head.

"No. Not really. I mean…" I thought back to one of my foster mothers, the one I was with when I first started chemo. "… Maybe a little. I don't know what constitutes punishment exactly, and what form of punishment is acceptable. I guess the definition of abuse is an opinion, and I have not formed my own on the subject." I shrugged it off. Rosalie repositioned me so I was sitting up against the pillows.

"You can talk to me about it if you want to. Sometimes it helps to talk." She was filled with kindness.

"If you want to know I will tell you, but there isn't much to tell."

"Only tell me what you want to. I don't want you to feel pressured." I smiled at her.

"I was in a foster home when I first started chemo. My foster mother hated it when kids were lazy and I just wanted to lie in bed all day and I threw up all over the house when she made me get up. I was too exhausted to clean up after myself and in too much pain. Once I even fell asleep on the floor next to my barf. She had kicked me to wake me up. Aside from that it was just a few smacks on the back of the head and when she got really angry she would grab me or push me into the wall and scream in my face. She didn't understand what I was going through and she didn't expect to have a sick kid in her house when she agreed to take me in. I wish she would have just sent me to the group home instead of torturing herself taking care of me. I was a whiny kid, and that didn't help the situation. It wasn't her fault I was sick or that I was her responsibility." Rosalie hugged me.

"I am so sorry you had to go through that, but I promise that none of us would ever intentionally hurt you. I would kill anyone who tried. What you described to me, that is abuse babe."

"But not bad abuse. Not enough to complain about, anyways. Not when kids are being chained in basements, tortured, and raped or whatever." I didn't want to make a big deal out of this. "I totally overreacted with… What do I call her, because I don't know and it's driving me nuts? Mom and Dad? Carlisle and Esme?"

"Whatever you feel comfortable with, but don't be afraid to call the Mom and Dad if you want to. Carlisle and I have some… differences in opinion, you could say. We aren't that close, but he knows I love him. Esme too. Our family dynamics are hard to explain. The thing you need to understand is that they took all of us in, loved us, and took care of us. Even when we make mistakes they love us and welcome us with open arms, always." I laughed, but it hurt.

"Sounds too good to be true." I commented and she laughed too. I started to get out of bed but she held me back. "What are you doing? I need to go apologize."

"You are on strict bed rest. I am in charge of carrying you to the bathroom." I groaned. At least he wasn't making me use a catheter. I shivered at the thought.

"Sorry you have to babysit me."

"I don't have to- I volunteered." I smiled.

"Could you bring…" I took a deep breath and hoped for the best. "… Mom in here?"

"Of course." Rosalie left and returned quickly, Mom in tow. "Here ya go. I'll be in my room." She left again and Mom stood in the doorway.

"Come in?" I asked her, but she just stood there. I patted the spot on the bed next to me. "This is your spot, remember?" I asked. She cautiously walked in the room and sat on the bed. Pushing my needless fears aside I put my head on her shoulder. She was stiff and looked uncomfortable, so I decided to start. "I am sorry that I was disrespectful and raised my voice. I am sorry that I am such a burden to you and your family. I am sorry that I upset you and made you feel guilty. My heart problems are not caused by you or anyone else, but by me. I am nothing but thankful that you took me in, and I never expected for you to actually care about me. I don't know how to have a Mom or how to be a daughter, let alone how to love anyone." Looking at her soft expression I found myself unable to stop the word-vomit. "I don't want people to know this, but I am terrified. I am terrified of dying, I am terrified of dying alone, I am terrified of the pain I feel, I am terrified of losing you, I am terrified every time I eat, and I am terrified that you won't think it was worth bringing me into your home after I die." I wrapped my arms around her as tight as I could. I was nervous when she didn't respond in a similar manner. "If you don't hug me back I am going to be convince you hate me and don't want me here. So if you do care now is the time to do something." I informed her and was immediately embraced.

"I love you so much. Most of the things you apologized for you needn't have. You are not a burden but a blessing to our family. We all love you and I know that this is scary- it's scary for me too. You are always worth it and being a daughter is easy. All you have to do is love your family." I frowned into her hair.

"I don't know how to love or be loved." I whispered.

"Of course you do. Everyone knows how to love; sometimes it just takes time to love people. I think you and I both know that you already love us. I hope you do. I think you try to hide it, but I am a mother and mothers know everything. Ask any of the kids and they'll tell you that I know everything." I heard laughter from all over the house and I could've sworn that they could somehow hear our conversation.

"You are too good to be true" And she was. They all were too good to be true. What kind of being could show so much compassion and tolerance? What kind of person could love and take care of someone like me? "Are you sure you are human? Because I am not sure you are real." I laughed.

"Give me a wand and call me your fairy godmother." We both laughed.

**(Author's Note: Hi readers. Sorry this chapter (not unlike most of the chapters of OLW) seems to be me rambling… because that is exactly what it is. I tend to word-vomit and that is my writing style. Awkward sentences and paragraphs that run on (and on and on and on). I know how I am going to end this story… but I am not sure what to do between now and then. If I do what I want to do it'll basically just be Miss Vera Rose hanging out with her lovely family. And more hanging out. And more hanging out. For a really long time. So I have options if you'd like to throw your opinion at me? Time jump? I sit here and write all those little unimportant but sweet moments? Or I could hurry up and end it? I have already written 114 pages. That is a lot and I am not really allowed to be writing anything fiction (My mother loves technicalities when "not-punishing" me. She wants me to do things like talk to people (NO!)) Anyways, any suggestions that you have for the story would be realllllly appreciated. I am writing another fanfic and posted it on my page. It starts right after Bella is returned to her house, after Edward dumps her. It's a little different and will be an anorexia/bulimia story. It may become a trigger for me so I may stop it randomly- but I think I can do this. I really like writing depressing stories. It is what I do. So if you choose to read whatever I post, don't expect rainbows and butterflies. Not for this story either. Love you all and thanks for reading!)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note: I live in the country, where we say things such as "ya'll", "ain't", and "durn it". I try to refrain from using it in my writing, but sometimes my southern twang refuses to be hidden. My apologies!**

The next week was filled with me laying in bed, but I was never alone. Alice helped me dress in the mornings, Mom brought me my meals, Emmett and Jasper watched movies with me and taught me to play video games, and Edward and taught me about music. Rosalie was almost always in my room. We would talk and talk and talk. Carlisle continued to doctor me and Mom discovered that I could eat crackers and lightly buttered toast without throwing up (most of the time). It wasn't much, but that little breakthrough worked wonders according to Carlisle. He kept giving me vitamin supplements through my IV, but I felt a lot better being able to eat. To my absolute delight, on the seventh day, Rosalie and Mom helped me to get an actual shower! I was in heaven after months of only bed baths. The hardest part was my head.

"Vera, you have to take the scarf off. Don't you want to wash your head?" Mom asked, for the first time that week tears formed in my eyes. I was hoping they'd go unnoticed due to the shower, but I was disappointed. "Baby, you don't have to cry. It's okay."

"I don't want you to see me ugly. It's bad enough you can see me naked. I didn't always look like this. When I was in remission I was almost pretty." I whispered. "Now I'm bald. I'm the ugliest duckling." Without meaning to I looked longingly at Rosalie's hair which swayed perfectly to her upper thighs.

"That's it." Rosalie left the room in a hurry. From somewhere else in the house I could hear muffled shouting from another part of the house. Afraid that I had caused something I slowly untied my scarf and pulled it off my head. I refused to look at Mom as she assisted me in washing the little hair I had.

"You know, I could trim your hair for you to make it even, if you'd like." Mom told me once I was dressed and putting a dry scarf on my head. My face heated up.

"No. I didn't want you to see it, let alone… Just no. I'll keep it covered and it won't matter." I sighed. I appreciated that she didn't press the matter. Once I was fully dried and lotioned she carried me back to the bed and pressed a cold kiss to my forehead. I turned on the TV when she left the room. A commercial for a funeral home was on which gave me an idea. I started scheming my plan and waited until Carlisle came to do my nightly check up.

"Everything looks good, all things considered." He told me as usual. "You have stopped losing weight, which is great. Eat as much as you can without making yourself sick." I nodded to his instructions.

"Thank you for taking care of me." I smiled sweetly.

"Thank you for obeying doctor's orders. I know that being on bed rest hasn't been fun, but it is in your best interest." I pouted a little.

"Dad, I need to ask you a serious question." His smile faded and his expression grew solemn.

"Ask me anything." I took a deep breath.

"Can I go shopping? I'll stay in that stupid wheelchair the whole time and I'll let Alice, Mom, or Rosalie push it. I promise I'll stay calm and won't do anything that could make me tired. I'll stay in the chair the whole time. I promise I'll be good, please let me go shopping." I could tell he wasn't expecting this question to be the one I asked.

"You being on bed rest is for your health, not for me. Why do you want to go shopping anyways?" He asked confused.

"I don't want to go shopping, I need to go shopping. I know it is morbid, but I realized I have no idea what I want to be buried in! I need to pick out a nice outfit. Dress, shoes, accessories, etc. I am going to be wearing this until the vault around my coffin collapses or corrodes and my remains are eaten by bugs and small critters. Until that happens, I want to look my best." It was freaky to think about decomposing. Carlisle sighed in defeat.

"When you put it that way, I don't know how I could say no. You have to stay calm the whole time. If you have to try anything on one of the girls will help you. Lastly, you can only be gone three hours." I smiled, glad for the jail break.

"You won't regret this! Thank you Daddy!" I hugged him tightly. "Now I just have to ask the girls to see if they want to take me shopping. I figured it'd be best to get your permission first. Could you send them in?" I batted my short eyelashes. He laughed wholeheartedly.

"Of course." He left quickly. Soon after Alice and Mom came and lied on my bed next to me.

"What's up?" Alice asked in her own quirky way that always made me smile.

"I was wondering if you'd want to go shopping with me tomorrow. Dad approved me leaving the house for three hours so long as I stay in that stupid wheel chair I so despise." Alice started bouncing up and down with pure excitement.

"YES! We are going to have so much fun!" She exclaimed.

"I'd love to go with you, but may I ask what the occasion we are shopping for is?" Mom asked.

"I know it is morbid, but for the clothes I want to be buried in. I want to look nice for once- and don't give me the 'you always look nice' speech." I rested my cheek on her shoulder.

"If you are sure you want to do that, then we will." I closed my eyes and frowned.

"How mad is Rosalie at me? I didn't mean to make her mad, I am just uncomfortable with what is under the scarf."

"No honey, Rosalie isn't mad at you. She is mad, but not at you. It would break her heart if she knew you think she's mad at you. Like I sometimes get, she is frustrated with the cards you've been dealt." I smiled.

"I'm not frustrated. I am happy. More than that, I am blissful. I have a family that I love. What more could I ask for?" Alice hugged me tightly.

"Aww! We love you too! I can't wait to take you shopping! Three hours isn't very long, but I can make it work! Are we just shopping for you or do you want us to get dresses for your funeral as well? I haven't ever been to a funeral, so I'll have to research proper attire. This isn't going to be awkward, will it?" She said in one breath.

"We can get your dresses, too. I've only been to one funeral, and I hadn't even met the guy before I saw him in a casket. Everyone was wearing black, but surprisingly few people were crying. I don't want anyone to be sad when I die, but I don't want people to be glad I'm dead either. I don't know what I want exactly, I just don't want to die alone. Do you believe in Heaven?" I looked up and asked Alice. She looked like a deer in headlights. "I wasn't religious before, but I think I believe in God now. I mean I have a family, which I thought was impossible. I consider ya'll a miracle. I guess if God is real Heaven is… what do you think?" I tried again. It took her another minute to recover.

"I believe in a Heaven." She said without her usual enthusiasm.

"If Heaven is real then Hell is too. I don't want to go to Hell, if it exists. What do you think will happen when I die?" I asked as Edward walked in the room.

"You don't want to talk about this around Edward; he thinks our whole family is damned." Alice informed me and my eyes grew wide as saucers.

"Untrue, I don't think Vera is going to Hell. Only the rest of us." He smiled and sat down. Maybe there really was something wrong with these people that I was unaware of.

"I'll tell you what happens if whoever is in charge of the dead lets me." I told them. "I'll ask about the Cullen family specifically. What if I turn into a ghost? I'll come back and live in your house. I will haunt you and your children, and your children's children for the rest of eternity." I grinned at the thought of staying with my family forever. Then when ya'll die we could scare people together." Edward and Alice laughed but Mom remained silent. I looked to her questioningly.

"I believe you will go to Heaven. I hope that all my children have and will." She wrapped an arm around me.

"Well that eases my worry a bit. I guess I won't know what happens until I'm dead." I tilted my face up to the ceiling. "Unless you want to give me some sort of sign?" I shouted at the ceiling. _Bang!_ I looked over at my large window to see a bird had flown straight into it, committing suicide. Goosebumps covered my body and I held my breath. I looked at my family to see that they were shocked as well. It couldn't be a coincidence… could it? Did that mean something? Was I going to kill myself unknowingly? I looked to Edward.

"Don't ask me, I'm not God." Edward told me.

"Th-that was a coincidence right? Did that mean anything? What would that mean, anyways?" I asked Mom and Alice.

"I was wrong before; I don't know everything." I tried not to let my sudden fear show, but failed. "Don't be afraid, I've got you." Mom squeezed me tighter.

"Can we pretend like that didn't happen… and could someone clean the bird guts off my window? Just close the curtains for now, please." Edward quickly shut the curtains and we all turned our attention to the news. As per usual, it would be rainy the next day. I yawned loudly and snuggled further into my blankets.

_I ran from the pool to my motel room. I went to open the door, but coming out of the room next to ours was Esme and a man I didn't recognize. She smiled at him and they moved to walk into the parking lot._

_ "Who's that?" I asked Esme._

_ "Oh, this is my secretary. We are going out to eat." She responded casually. I watched in confusion as they left together and then went in my motel room. Why was Esme with another guy in a motel? _**(Author's Note: I had this dream last night. I thought it was weird that I'd have a dream about seeing Esme at a motel with another guy. She would never cheat on Carlisle… so what was she doing? Review or PM me to tell me your ideas of a ****moral**** reason she would leave a motel room with a guy who looked 40, and she claimed he was her secretary? Plus, she wouldn't want to eat in front of a guy who was obviously human. She wouldn't be eating him either. If it helps she looked just like she did during the wedding and reception scenes of Breaking Dawn. Same dress and hair…It is driving me nuts.)**

I awoke with a start and looked around to see that my room was empty. Normally Rosalie slept on the other side of my bed and she left the TV on, on the lowest volume possible. The room was pitch black, and I was most definitely alone. I looked at my clock to see that it was already seven in the morning. I remembered then that Edward had closed my curtains the night before, and that was why the room was so dark. I was still confused by the fact that I was alone. It seemed to be an unspoken rule that I was never to be alone. Would anyone be awake yet?

"Hello?" I called out, afraid to speak too loudly and wake anyone up. Alice flung open my door and flicked my lights on.

"I thought you'd never wake up! The mall opens at ten and it takes almost an hour to get there from here. Plus, you still have to take your medicine, eat, and get dressed. Esme refused to let me wake you up though." Hearing Mom's name reminded me of my dream.

"Hey, weird question- does Mom have, or has she ever had, a secretary?" I asked.

"Not that I know of, why?" I shook my head.

"I just had a weird dream." I blew it off, though it was bugging me. Mom would never cheat on Dad. It was just a dream… right?

"Are you sure, because you have a funny look on your face." Alice pushed the matter.

"I'm sure, I was just thinking about how we only have three hours to shop." That statement got her babbling nonstop about stores, designers, styles, and other things I didn't care to try to understand. I dressed slowly, used the bathroom, and brushed my teeth. Once I was ready I was carried down to the kitchen by Alice. Either she was really strong, or I was light as a feather, because she wasn't the slightest bit out of breath after carrying me down a flight of stairs and across the house. She got out a piece of bread and was about to put it on the toaster when I stopped her. "Wait. I feel like being a dare devil. Give me the bread, a plate, a knife, butter, sugar, and cinnamon." I instructed. After some searching she provided me with the materials and I fixed the bread the way I wanted it. "Put this in the toaster oven until the white part starts turning brown please?"

"Yes ma'am." She followed my instructions and sat beside me. I had quickly learned that no one in this house knew how to cook. They ate out almost every night was my understanding. I was surprised Alice knew what cinnamon was, even though the container was labeled. I adjusted my scarf and waited anxiously for my toast.

"You should probably bring the trashcan over here as well." I told her and the trashcan was beside me at an alarmingly quick rate. She was strong and fast; they all were. I had noticed this along with their cold and hard skin. All of their eyes changed colors, they varied from gold to black. Edward could read minds and I suspected that Alice had a quirk as well. I tried not to pay much attention to any of these things and tried to focus on the fact that I loved them. Nothing else really mattered. It wasn't like they were murderers. When the toast was ready Alice sat it on the china plate in front of me. "Thanks." I told her and took a bite. It was delicious and tasted just like I had remembered it from when the Elvis impersonator/foster father made it. I ate slowly and carefully, then drank a tall glass of water. Just when I thought I had won the battle against my stomach I started to gag.

"Not today." I mumbled angrily under my breath and forced myself not to get sick. Mind over matter. Once my stomach calmed down I smiled triumphantly. "Take that stomach." Alice laughed at me.

"You talk to yourself a lot."

"I've been alone a lot." I replied easily.

"Well you aren't alone now. You can talk to us." I turned to see Mom walk into the kitchen carrying her purse.

"Vera had a dream last night that you had a secretary." Alice announced and my cheeks heated up. They both were staring at my blush which only caused me to blush more. They probably thought the dream was something really bad, which only made me blush more. Durn it. I adjusted my scarf and took a deep breath, fully aware of the following question.

"What did you dream about? I heard you say 'who's that' in your sleep when I checked on you last night." I inwardly groaned and reminded myself that it is always best to be honest.

"It was totally weird and I know it's not true, so don't get mad. I have no idea why I dreamt it." I was a little bit afraid of her reaction; at least Carlisle wasn't in the kitchen to make it worse on me. "I had a dream that I saw you leaving a motel room with some guy. I asked who it was and you said it was your secretary and that ya'll were going out to eat. You then left toward the parking lot. SO I have been brainstorming all morning for a reasonable excuse for you to be leaving a cheap motel with a guy." Alice and Mom exchanged a glance before they burst out laughing. At least she wasn't angry.

"What are you two lovely ladies laughing at?" Dad entered the house from the garage, causing them to laugh harder. I shook my head.

"You may not want to know." I said hoping my blush wouldn't give too much away.

"Can I tell him?" Mom asked and I shrugged. The dream had felt so realistic.

"You can tell him if you can come up with one moral excuse as to why it happened." I told her. It didn't take her a full ten seconds to come up with a reason.

"I do a lot of interior decorating along with house restorations. I could have been designing new rooms." She told me and winked. "Or maybe I wasn't." My blush was back and I looked in my lap.

"Tell him!" Alice ordered.

"Vera dreamt that she saw me exiting a cheap motel room with another man. Apparently we were headed for a restaurant." She clued-up Dad and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Who was he?" Dad asked.

"When I asked her, in the dream, she said he was her secretary. Her face was too calm though, like a poker face. He didn't even look good! He was in his forties and balding… and kinda overweight. I am giving her benefit of the doubt and believing that she was redecorating motel rooms. She and the guy had been working hard since early in the morning trying to make everything perfect, so they were going out to eat lunch." They all laughed at my poor attempt of making things sound better.

"What was I wearing?" Mom asked sounding very interested.

"I really nice purple dress. It almost looked like something from the earlier 1900s, but was beautiful. I think you were wearing heels as well." I wished the conversation to end soon.

"One last question, what would you have done if I had been doing something I shouldn't have." She took Dad's hand in hers. Neither seemed angry.

"I would have done the same thing I always do in these situations. I would have kept my mouth shut. It is none of my business what you do or don't do. Maybe Dad knew about it and was okay with it. Maybe Dad was abusive to you, but you hid it from us kids. Maybe that man loved and took care of you. You can't help who you fall in love with. There are a million possibilities and none of them would be any of my business. It wouldn't be my job to blab. When people cheat it is never a good thing, but usually there is more to the story. That doesn't make it acceptable, but there is almost always more to the story. If Dad or anyone else asked me about it I wouldn't lie, but I wouldn't tell him what I had seen either. Maybe that's not true. Maybe I would cover for you. It just depends. If the guy from my dream asked about you I would more than likely pretend that he thought I was someone else." I shrugged again and rested my head on the cool counter top. I didn't look up as Mom hugged me.

"I can promise you that I would never cheat on Carlisle. Even in your dream. I think it is sweet and a little unsettling that you would cover for me if I was though." I nodded into her shoulder.

"Of course I would. I love you, and I wouldn't want to be the one to tear this family apart. I want everything to stay as it is until I die. You guys should be able to keep your acts together that long." Mom laughed again.

"We'll try our best." Dad kissed the top of my head before starting my morning examination. Emmett came running into the room with a big grin on his face.

"She just called and will be here in a few minutes. She got it." He shouted. I just stared at him but everyone else was smiling.

"Care to clue me in on who got what?" I asked.

"Nope!" He yelled. "I thought it was a bad idea at first, but I was just afraid that she would regret it later. I don't think she will though. Alice did such a good job with making her look perfect, and I am sure yours is going to look beautiful as well. If Dad didn't have a blood pressure cuff attached to you I would hug you until you couldn't see straight!" I had no idea what he was talking about, but he seemed excited. "Do me a favor though, if you don't like it act like you do? You'll understand when you get it." I heard a garage door open and Rosalie appeared in the kitchen holding a fancy box. The first thing I noticed was her beautiful hair. The night before her hair had been to the middle of her thighs, now it stopped at her lower back.

"Rosalie you cut your hair! It looks just as beautiful as before, but why would you cut something so… perfect?" I shouted in exasperation. The hair I loved so much had been chopped shorter.

"Open the box, I had it specially made. I hope you like it." She bit her lip as Emmet wrapped his arms around her from behind. Edward and Jasper ran into the kitchen to watch me open my gift. Tears formed in my eyes when I saw the beautiful pale golden hair in the box. I pulled out the wig and saw that the inside was lined with a soft fabric, like silk, but was fitted with an elastic band so that it would stay on and fit me right. I covered my mouth with one hand as I tried, and failed, to suppress my crying. I opened my arms and Rosalie embraced me. I hugged her so tight I thought my arms were going to break. What could I say? What words were there to describe how thankful I was? I hugged her and cried, trying to think of some way to show her how much this meant to me.

"I hope those are happy tears." She whispered into my ear and I cried some more.

"Thank you so much. How do I… I don't know what to say. I love you. Thank you." I told her when I was able to talk again. I tried to put all the love and gratitude I felt into that one hug. I think she felt it.

"I am glad you like it. Would you like me to take you to your room and I can help you put it on?" I wiped away my tears and nodded. Emmett kissed his wife.

"You look even more beautiful than before, babe." He told her before releasing her. She carried me to my bathroom and sat me in the chair they had put in there for me. I carelessly pulled the scarf off my head and opened the box again, carefully. My greatest treasure was in there, and I didn't want a single hair to fall from it. Rosalie removed the wig from the box and arranged it on my head, brushing it with her fingers. There was not a single tangle in the wavy mass. With shaking hands I ran my fingers, gently, through the hair. My hair. A teary smile appeared on my face when I examined my reflection in the mirror. For the first time in my life, I felt truly beautiful. I flung my arms around Rosalie again.

"I don't know what to say. You gave me your hair. Your beautiful hair is on _my_ head. How can I thank you for making me feel so… beautiful? For the first time in my life I feel pretty." Emmett walked into the bathroom smiling. "Are you okay with this?" I asked him.

"Of course! I would love Rose if she shaved her head. She looks even more beautiful now, I think. I haven't seen her smile like this in ages." I looked in the mirror to see that Rosalie's smile was as big as mine. I examined my reflection in the mirror more closely.

"I thought I looked like Emmett before, but now I have your hair Rosalie. I look like your kid." Their smiles grew when I said this. Emmett bent down and whispered in my ear so quietly I had to strain to hear him.

"Don't tell Carlisle and Esme, but Rosie and I think of you as a daughter, too." I nodded eagerly.

"I'm perfectly fine with having four parents." I whispered back.

"Who is your favorite?" Emmett asked and I laughed.

"I can't tell you that." Carlisle walked in the room with a disapproving look on his face. Instantly my fingers were running through the attractive hair on my head. "Don't you like it Dad?" I asked him concerned.

"I think you look very pretty, but you and I made a deal. You aren't supposed to get too excited today. I have seen you laughing and crying. Maybe we need to reschedule your shopping trip." He suggested.

"I'm sorry, I'll do better. I promise. I actually feel pretty good today, which is a rarity. It probably won't last long, so please let me go shopping. You know what happens when dying people suddenly feel great and healthy. They die that much sooner. You are a doctor and you should know this. Most people get a burst of energy before they die. As disheartening as the thought of me dying is, I still am dying. Even though I feel fantastic, I am remembering that I am sick. I don't know how many days I have left to do this, Dad." He sighed and didn't say anything for a while. "Oh my gosh. You think I am right, don't you. I have been lying in bed, unable to get up without immense pain, all week. Then last night and this morning I feel like I am on top of the world. I really am dying." My voice sounded more crestfallen than I intended it to.

"We don't know anything for sure. It could have something to do with the fact that you have been eating some." He offered another solution, and suddenly my triumph from that morning seemed like a death sentence. I shook my head and my hair swung side to side with the motion.

"I ate toast this morning without throwing up. It wasn't the plain toast I have been eating- it had cinnamon and sugar baked on it, and extra butter. I have to go shopping now." I looked up at Rosalie. "I said now! Take me to the car before I keel over!" I ordered and was scooped up into her arms. She carried me away confidently.

"You aren't just going to suddenly die. Everything is going to be okay, I promise." I leaned closer to her.

"Will you hold my hand when I die?" I asked. I was growing more afraid of death with each passing day. Each day I grew closer to my family and more afraid to leave them.

"Of course I will. You are not going to die alone. We love you too much to let that happen." I smiled at her.

"I feel like today is my birthday. I already got one present, and we are going shopping for more."

"That is an excellent idea. Today is your unofficial birthday." She sat next to me in the back seat of the car after honking the horn several times. "If Alice doesn't get into this car in the next ten seconds we will leave without her. Same goes for Esme." Rosalie looked frustrated.

"She loves you so much, just like a daughter. It would make her really happy to call her Mom."

"I know I should call her Mom, but when I came to live with her and Carlisle my parents were still alive. That and I was furious with Carlisle, so I refused to call him Dad, even though he would never push me to do so." I laughed quietly.

"You don't know how good you've got it. You have a Mom and Dad who would do anything for you and love you so much. You have a husband who worships the ground you walk on, and siblings who love you and make you laugh. You have a family and a life and good health. Not to mention the things of monetary value you have. Look at this garage! How many cars are in it? Six? More? I haven't counted. You are so amazingly blessed." Alice and Mom opened the doors a t that moment, abruptly ending my speech. Mom backed out of the drive way and Alice squealed.

"Girls day out!"


	8. Chapter 8

The girl's chattered nonstop until. I didn't talk much, but I enjoyed listening to them. They were all so happy, and I was too. Every few seconds I would run my fingers through my hair or smell it. It smelled really nice. I still couldn't believe that Rosalie would cut her hair for me. I braided it and unbraided it a few times. By the time we got to the mall my arms were tired. Rosalie helped me into the stupid wheelchair and pushed me into the mall. I was glad it wasn't Alice pushing me because she had already run ahead. When we got into the mall I asked Rosalie to stop.

"Give me a minute." I whispered as I took in all the sights. People were everywhere, some walking and others almost running. They were all carrying bags with fancy names on them. The signs above the stores were shiny and reflected the lights. There seemed to be a store for everything; clothing, shoes, chocolate, toys, cookies, pretzels, more clothing, and more shoes. There was a water fountain in the middle of all this. I wished, even though I had no coin to throw in, that this day would never end. I couldn't remember if I had ever been to a mall, but I would remember this experience for the rest of my life. "Let's go." I told Rosalie and we were on our way. The building seemed to have an infinite number of stores, and Alice was hellbent on going in every one of them. We had only been in the mall for half an hour when I couldn't take it anymore.

"Alice! Please can we move at a human pace? I'm not even doing anything and I'm exhausted. I haven't even been able to look at one dress." Her serious-shopping expression turned to a frown as guilt filled her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, it's just that we don't have much time and I want everything to be perfect!" I squeezed her hand in mine.

"Everything already is perfect. I think this is my first time in a mall, and I am with my favorite people. If we don't find the perfect dress it won't be a big deal. I am going to be dead when I wear it anyways. I just want to pick it out." She nodded.

"Can we go in that store?" I pointed at JCPennys©. "I've heard of that one before." Alice frowned but pushed me in the store anyways. They had a large selection of dresses and they were all beautiful. One in particular caught my eye. It was very simple with short sleeves and it would come down to about my knees. At the waist the skirt of it flowed out gradually. It looked comfortable, too. "This is it." I told them.

"Are you sure, we could get you something much more… extravagant and attention grabbing?" I shook my head.

"I'll be the only one in a coffin. I am pretty sure the attention is going to be in me anyways. Now all I need is shoes." Insead of going to one of the many fancy shoes stores I ordered them to take me to the shoe department of JCPennys©. I grabbed the first pair of black ballet flats I saw. "Perfect. I just need to figure out my shoe size for these." A dark skinned woman with sleek black hair sauntered forward. Her nametag said Kiera.

"Could you help me figure out my shoe size, please?" I asked. She looked at me funny.

"You're not contagious are you?" She sneered. Mom had to hold Rosalie back from attacking the poor girl.

"No ma'am. I have cancer, which is not contagious." She nodded and put my foot in a weird metal thing.

"If you have cancer then why are you shopping?" I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Maybe she never knew anyone with cancer. It wasn't her fault she was uninformed.

"I am shopping for my funeral clothes. I want to look presentable in the casket. If you could find these shoes in my size, it would be much appreciated." I smiled as she walked away. I turned to face Rosalie.

"You can't attack everyone who treats me differently. People don't understand, and they are afraid of what they don't know. They just need to be informed, and then usually they get nicer. Take a deep breath and calm down. If not for the life of Kiera, then for me." She nodded and took a few deep breaths.

"I'll be alright." She told me.

"You handled that very well Vera." Mom told me.

"I'm used to it. You should have taken me shopping before I got the wig. Everyone would have stopped everything they were doing to stare. Literally people would stop eating or doing whatever just to look at me. The wheelchair doesn't help matters either." Kiera returned with a shoebox in hand. She helped me try on the shoes and they fit perfectly.

"They look lovely on you. I hope you don't have to wear them soon?" She smiled sadly.

"Probably a week or two. Maybe more, maybe less. I am just enjoying a girl's day out with my family. Could you help us to check out?" She nodded and Mom pushed me over to the cash register. The shoes and dress I picked out weren't nearly as expensive as other things in the store. I motioned for Mom to come closer to me.

"Tip her well." I whispered and Mom only nodded. I saw Kiera's eye grow wide when Mom tipped her. I smiled at her as we headed out of the store, but Kiera chased after us.

"Thank you so much. I am sorry if I was rude before. I am a single mom, and the last thing I need is to get sick and to get my son sick. We are barely getting by, but this will help us so much!" She wiped a tear from her eye. "I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers." I nodded. "Thank you."

"Thank you for the excellent service." I told her and pointed to the door before she did something crazy like hugging me. The next stop was the food court. I decided to do something risky and ordered Mexican food. I didn't even get to take two bites before it all came back up. Luckily we were sitting in the secluded areas by the bathrooms, and right next to a trashcan.

"That was a really food bite of spicy burrito. I used to eat spicy food all the time- now it just hurts." I told them when I was done. My stomach burned like crazy, but I didn't want them to that. "Now all of you need dresses." We decided it would be best if Mom and I stayed in one store while Alice and Rosalie ran around like crazy. I ran my fingers through the soft fabrics lazily and stopped at a lovely purple dress. I took it off the rack and handed it to Mom.

"Don't you think this is a little bit too nice for a funeral? I feel so morbid being here with you right now." I shook my head and my hair swept side to side with the motion.

"It is my funeral, so my rules. And we both know that I am dying. Probably sooner rather than later. So go in there and try on that dress. I want to see what it looks like on you." She went into the dressing room and quickly came out wearing the dress.

"You were right, much too pretty for my funeral. Save it and wear it when Edward gets married." I told her.

"What do you mean?" I rolled my eyes.

"He won't be alone forever. He is too much of a catch to die a bachelor. She won't be good enough for him, no one is, but she'll fit in well with the family. You wait and see. Too bad I won't be around to tell you that I told you so." I sighed and she went back into the dressing room. She came back carrying the dress instead of putng it on the rack.

"I'll wear it to his wedding, I promise."

"Good."

When we left the mall we all had at least one dress, Mom having two. When she explained to the girls why she had two they laughed, but Alice's eyes went blank for a second. Mom tried to distract me from Alice's daze, but I wouldn't go along with what Mom wanted. Maybe Mom was right and Alice really was psychic.

"I think you are right Vera, the dress will look lovely on Esme at Edward's wedding." The look on Mom's face was priceless.

"Really?" She asked.

"Most definitely. You will look beautiful in that dress." Mom looked like she as about to start jumping up and down and screaming with excitement.

"Alice agrees with me, he won't die alone! Now let's go before Dad throws a fit." I napped as we raced towards home. When I woke up Edward was carrying me up to my room.

"You will make a good husband one day." I told him before going back to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's Note: A few things… 1) This chapter will be mentioning some female anatomy. If you are 14 or older it shouldn't be a big deal… just don't say I didn't warn you. It is all medical stuff. 2) To my reviewers, I cannot respond if you do not log into Fanfiction. Use your account, if you don't have one then make one. It is really easy. 3) Thank you for reading! I know I update irregularly but I do my absolute best. 4) I care deeply about all of you reading, and if you ever need anything PM me. 5) I didn't get a chance to proofread this chapter:( sorry for any mistakes.**

I awoke to see Rosalie lying next to me, which was far from unusual. I stretched somewhat painfully and smiled when I saw hair in my eyes. With some assistance I sat up and looked across the room into the mirror on my dresser. I straightened my wig then looked hopefully at my sister.

"What are the chances of me getting a shower today?" I asked blushing.

"High if you'd like." I nodded. I started to get out of bed, but quickly realized I wouldn't be able to do it myself. I looked sheepishly at Rosalie, who helped me immediately. Once I was seated on the toilet lid I brushed my teeth and felt a little bit better. Rosalie turned on the water in the shower and helped me strip of my clothes and wig. The hot water felt great on my cold skin and I took a minute to just enjoy the stream of water.

"Do you want me to leave and come back if you call for me?" Rosalie asked from the other side of the steamed up glass of the shower door.

"If you wouldn't mind staying, I would appreciate it. I just… I want to make sure if I slip or of something happens that…" She cut me off.

"Don't worry about it. I have nothing better to do anyways." I washed my body and head, including the tiny bit of hair that was growing on the top of my head. I even took the time to wash in my belly button and the bottom of my feet. I was rinsing off when I noticed the lump in my breast. I knew that I was dying soon anyways, so it didn't really matter, but it still scared me. It took me a minute to finish rinsing all the soap from my body. Rosalie turned off the water and helped me dry off and get dressed. While I was showering she had brushed my wig for me. I felt a large dose of courage fill me when she put it on my head. I may have been dying, but at least I was loved and had hair.

"You're awfully quiet, what's up?" She asked once I was once again lying in bed.

"You can keep a secret, right?" I asked her. She nodded and crossed her heart. I took a deep breath.

"I think I have breast cancer." I saw terror flash across her expression. "It's not that big of a deal. Doc… I mean Dad might already know about it. I refused to listen to him tell me all the places the cancer has spread to. It just kinda shocked me when I felt the huge knot. If I am being honest with you I think the cancer is probably everywhere. Maybe not my liver… people's eyes usually turn yellow when something is wrong with their liver, I think."

"This is a big deal." She told me seriously. I waved her worries away.

"I am dying. It's just going to happen. No need in worrying anyone over a lump, when it won't change the end results." I told her with my eyes closed. The shopping trip had really worn me out.

"Well don't go to sleep yet, Dad wants to come in here and do doctor things and then you need to eat." I shook my head.

"I'm not hungry." I heard a knock at my door, then heard it open.

"You have to eat breakfast, doctor's orders." Dad told me. I opened one eye to see him carrying a plate with plain toast on it. He sat the plate on my nightstand and began doctoring me. "Hmm."

"Hmm good, or hmm bad?" I asked him.

"Hmm bad. I think I need to start the IV on you again. You still aren't getting enough vitamins, minerals, or protein. Plus, you are very dehydrated." I only nodded. "I'll start the IV when you are done eating breakfast." He sat the plate on my lap and left the room. I painfully forced myself to eat the toast. I tried as hard as I could not to throw up, but I only made it through half of one piece before it came back up. Rosalie had a trashcan held up to my chin before I could make a mess. Tears poured down my cheeks as food painfully expelled itself from my stomach. Even when the food was gone I was still heaving and gagging. The pain and lack of being able to take a good breath was causing me to sob, which only hurt more. My head was pounding and I was miserable. When I caught a break I wiped the tears from my eyes. Just as my vision cleared I coughed and threw up a lot… a whole lot... a whole lot of dark, nearly black, blood. I was gagging but I managed to choke out to Rosalie

"Go get Dad." She screamed for him at the top of her lungs, and he was next to me a second later. He couldn't do much for me aside from rub my back and hold my hair. Finally, after a few more minutes, it stopped.

"How are you feeling?" Dad asked me.

"Dizzy and hurt and tired." I whispered and leaned back against my pillows. He was trying to talk to me but I was too tired to listen to him. Instead I closed my eyes and went back to sleep. When I woke up I didn't feel very well rested.

"Hey baby." My eyes fluttered open to see Mom holding my hand.

"Hi." I whispered. I looked around to see that I was connected to an IV and a heart monitor. Hanging from the IV pole were multiple liquids, including a blood transfusion. "It was that bad, huh?" I tried to make light of the situation.

"It was a little bit scary, but Carlisle was confident that you would wake up once you had a blood transfusion and were more hydrated." I nodded.

"Where is he? And where is Rosalie?" She smiled and kissed my forehead.

"I'll tell them to come in if you'd like, but no excitement." I rolled my eyes. How much excitement could I have while lying in bed attached to so many tubes and wires?

"Send Rosalie in first." She left and I wasn't alone for more than a minute before my sister appeared.

"I told him. I didn't know if the lump could have anything to do with all of this, and I was so scared, so I told him. I'm sorry. You trusted me with a secret and I told it, but I thought I was doing the right thing." I sighed.

"I understand. I wanted to talk to you before I talk to Dad so I can get a recap of everything that happened." She nodded.

"I'll fill you in. You threw up a bunch of blood and then passed out. That was an hour and a half ago. Then Dad was running back and forth from here and his office until Edward started helping him. He hooked you up to all this stuff and then he just stood there and stared at you for a few minutes. I don't know what that was about; you'd have to ask Edward. Mom was a total mess; she doesn't do well when she thinks you are in danger. So she sat in here with you until you woke up. She talked to you the whole time, insisting that we couldn't know if you could hear or not and that she didn't want you to have any nightmares." I nodded.

"That reminds me… I'll need to talk to Emmett and Dad alone, later." Rosalie nodded.

"Alright. I think Dad is waiting in the hall, so I'll let him come in and do whatever he needs to do." I squeezed Rosalie's hand before letting her go. Dad came in smiling.

"Look who is finally awake! You weren't out that long, which is good. You are hydrated and your fever has gone down to 99.9, which is also very good." I waited for the bad. "You lost a large amount of blood; this is your second transfusion. Also, I don't think your body is absorbing the nutrients you are getting through your IV. Are you in any pain?" He asked.

"No but I feel kinda… What kind of pain meds am I jacked up on? I don't want to be high as a kite, and I don't want any medication that will make me sleep. I can sleep when I am dead." He laughed.

"Just your usual cocktail. You need it right now. I will lower your dosage as the day progresses, and if you need more just tell me so and I'll up it again. Rosalie did tell me about the lump in your breast, but I am sure that it did not cause this. Don't be angry at her though, she was trying to make sure you weren't going to die because she kept a secret from me. I also have to tell you, both as a father and doctor, that keeping medically relevant secrets from me isn't a good move. I want to prolong your life as much as possible." I knew he was right, but still didn't feel like it was a big deal.

"I'll do my best not to keep secrets from you. Well, at least not medically relevant ones." He smiled.

"Thank you." He sat on the bed next to me and turned on the TV. I was asleep again before I could figure out what movie he was watching.


	10. Loved Forever After

When I awoke I felt like there was a large weight on my body, holding me down. The weight was making it a little bit harder to breathe. My whole body ached, but the pain in my stomach was the most significant. I closed my eyes for another minute and tried to get my bearings straight. Was this what dying felt like? My head seemed foggy and I knew that I must have had powerful drugs in my system. I looked around and found Dad lying next to me.

"Hey, there's my girl. How are you feeling?" I wanted to cry when he asked me that. I wanted to break down and sob until tears failed to flow from my eyes. I was dying, and I knew it. All the time leading up to this I knew I was going to die, but now I was actually dying. I took as deep of a breath as I could manage, knowing that there was still a few things I had to do.

"Call for Emmett, I need to talk to both of you quickly." I told my Dad. My Dad. I had a father who loved me, and who I loved more than I thought was possible. He would take care of me until the end. I tried not to show how much of a struggle it was to brush my hair out of my face.

"Hey little sis, what can I do for you." My heart ached at the love in Emmett's voice. I didn't want to have this conversation, but I needed to.

"I need to talk to both of you. I love you both so much." I was starting to breath like I had just got through exercising. Each breath, each movement, only caused my stomach more pain.

"We love you too." Emmett said and squeezed my hand.

"I know. But you need to… take care of Mom and Rosalie." I tried to keep my breathing steady. "This is going to be the hardest on the two of them. Make sure they know that I love them, but also make sure that they move on." Emmett's face dropped. "I know it hurts, but you have to be strong, okay? I need you both to be there for them." Tears ran down my face. I didn't want to have to do this. I wanted more time with the people I loved more than anything. These people took me into their home, took care of me, and loved me. What more could I ask for?

"Why are you saying this now?" The weight on my chest grew heavier when Emmett asked. I looked at Dad and he slowly nodded at me.

"I love you." Dad kissed my forehead. "I promise to take care of Esme and to look after all the children." He stood up and disappeared before reappearing with all of my family. I memorized all of their magnificent faces. Mom crawled in bed next to me.

"I love you Mom. Could you scoot me closer to you?" I asked and she did. I looked at the space beside me then at Rose. She knew what I wanted and soon I was being held by both of my mothers. There were so many things I wanted to say to each member of my family, but I was too tired; too weak.

_Make sure they all know how much I love them. You too, Edward._ I thought purposefully. Alice looked like she was crying as she watched me.

"Don't cry." I whispered and Rosalie wiped my own tears from my face. When I thought about it, I really could not be as sad as I wanted to be. I had a family, my one last wish had been granted. These people were the answer to my prayers. All of the sudden I felt all the love in the world surrounding me and inside of me. It was stronger than the pain. I focused on that feeling. I gathered up all the energy I had to say one last important thing. "I know who you are Rose and I love you so much. I don't care what you are, any of you, because I love you." It was too much. I couldn't do it anymore. I hated the feeling of giving up, but I couldn't hold on any longer. I felt as if I was running on borrowed time as it was. "I'll tell Vera you miss her." I don't know if they understood that, but Edward could relay the message if not. I closed my eyes and continued to focus on the love that filled my entire being. It was easier than going to sleep. It didn't hurt, it wasn't scary, it was like going into a peaceful sleep knowing that all dreams would be pleasant. I would never forget the family who loved me, and I would always feel myself lying in Mom and Rose's arms. What better way was there to die?

**Author's Note: You can all hate me if you want, but I consider this a happy ending. She died, yes, but she died happily. She died being held by those who loved her. She died feeling loved. Isn't that how you want to die? I will probably post some things from other Cullen's points of views involving Vera after her death. Such as Edward's wedding, and some other stuff. I loved writing this story and I hope you have enjoyed reading it. May God bless you all!**


	11. Rose and Em

This is a random day in Forks, with the Cullen family, from Rosalie's perspective.

I looked into the rear view mirror and examined the face looking back at me while we sat in the school parking lot. It wasn't my face I saw, but the little human girl who we all had loved so much. Vera's presence was ever lingering in the air around us. I wrapped my arms around myself as I remember the last time I felt her in them. She had died in my arms. Emmett kissed my temple and we exited my car. Bella was watching me and I couldn't help but to roll my eyes. She would never understand.

"I miss her too." Emmett whispered as we entered the school building. There was nothing more to be said. We both knew how the other felt, and we both knew that there was nothing we could do to comfort the other. So we put on our brave faces and did what the Cullen's do best: act.


	12. Bella Listens

This is set in Twilight. Bella is just hanging out with the Cullen's and overhears Edward having a conversation.

Alice seemed strangely glum so I decided to go find Edward. I walked down the hall and stopped in front of Edward's bedroom door. He was talking to someone, and I was curious as to whom. I had just left the rest of the family in the living room.

"You would love her. She is so intelligent, and beautiful, and selfless. You were right. You were utterly and completely right. I love her with all that I am and possibly more. Bella is so kind and caring. I wish you could meet her. I wish that you were here, even if just for one day. She is such a good person… I think the two of you would make great friends. You would love her as much as Alice does, maybe even more. I promise that we haven't forgotten you. We don't talk about you all that much because it is too painful, but I can hear your name in everyone's thoughts, every day. We all still love you so much. I love you." My breathing hitched when I heard him say this. For a moment I was stuck between running into his room and running away. I swallowed my cowardice and walked into his room without knocking. Edward was holding a black and white scarf in his hands.

"I thought you were hanging out with Alice?" He asked and kissed the top of my head. I fought hard to focus on what I needed to.

"Who were you talking to?" His expression changed to one of sadness and my heart dropped. I felt guilty for eavesdropping, but I needed to know what was going on.

"Oh, I didn't know you were listening. I was distracted and didn't hear you until you were opening the door." He took my hand and pulled me to sit on the bed next to him.

"I shouldn't have stood there listening to your conversation, but who were you talking to?" I didn't ask the questions that were screaming in my mind 'Who do you love and why are you holding a scarf'. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Her name was Vera." He said hesitantly.

"Was?"

"She died four years ago, today. You could say she was a family friend. We don't talk about her much, because it upsets us- Esme and Rose especially." He held the scarf so tightly that I feared it might rip. Guilt flooded my entire being as I realized that I had pried into something that was none of my business. "This was her scarf. She only wore it once." He smiled at me, but I could see the pain in his eyes. I wrapped both arms around his neck.

"I am sorry I asked. I am so sorry." To my surprise he hugged me back tightly, needing my support. When we finally released each other I examined his face carefully. He looked as though he wanted to say a million things, but was unable to.

"You don't have to be sorry. I just… She was…" He couldn't finish his sentence. I squeezed his hand tightly. "I talk to her sometimes that is all." I could tell that the conversation was over, though I wanted to know more. Maybe I could ask Alice about her later. "I will tell you more about her one day, but not right now, okay?" I nodded.

"I can be patient." He kissed my cheek and led me back down the stairs to the living room. Emmett, Rosalie, and Esme were no longer there and Carlisle's smile was forced. Whoever this girl was, she had obviously meant a lot to the family, and they were still recovering from her loss. I tried not to draw attention to my observations as I sat on the couch next to Alice.

"I know I never say this, but I need a few new pairs of jeans and a couple of new shirts. Before you get excited I need you to agree with me, Alice: three pairs of jeans and two new shirts. I have the power of veto on all of it. Now with that being said, would you like to go shopping with me?" I tried to lift the spirits in the house.

"Sure, that sounds great Bella." She said with a smile and without her usual enthusiasm. Normally by this point she would be jumping up and down squealing. "When would you like to go?" She asked.

"Tomorrow after school is good for me, if it is for you. I better get home, I have to read three chapters for English and make dinner for Charlie." I stood up, realizing that I was encroaching on family-time. None of them would have said anything to make me feel out of the loop, but it was obvious that they needed to be alone together.

"I'll drive you home." Edward, for once, did not try to persuade me to stay longer. No one did. We were almost to my house before Edward spoke again.

"I am sorry if things seemed depressing at our house." He sighed as he pulled into my driveway. "She would have loved you." He whispered and kissed my cheek before disappearing.


	13. The Wedding

Esme's POV

I had purposefully avoided this moment until now, but I could not wait any longer. It was almost time for the ceremony. Of course I was ecstatic that Edward found his mate and I loved Bella as my own daughter but, I couldn't help but to feel a little bit sad. Vera's presence was still lingering in my heart and mind. I could still feel her warm body in my arms and hear her draw her last breath. Though she was only mine for a short time, I loved her with all of my heart. My darling daughter had left me, just as my angelic son had all those years ago. My shoulders shook as I cried silently to myself. I stepped into the closet and pulled out the dress bag. I unzipped it slowly with shaking hands. The dress was just as beautiful as the day she had chosen it. I couldn't bring myself to touch the fabric, which still held her scent. The garment bag had preserved it well. I knelt down on the floor and inhaled deeply. I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around to see that all of my children, excluding Bella, had gathered in the room.

Carlisle moved his hand down my shoulder and around my waist as he knelt beside me. We were all silent for a long minute. I wasn't the only one crying; Edward was, too.

"She wanted to be here today. She was so sure that I was going to find Bella, and she wanted to see me get married. She wanted to see me in love." Edward's voice was broken. It was a family decision not to inform Bella of Vera's huge role in all of our lives. Bella was aware that Vera had existed, but she thought little of her as far as I knew. We would eventually tell Bella the full extent of Vera's impact on us, but for now we wanted to keep her to ourselves. Edward fought against this the most, but reluctantly agreed once we decided we would tell Bella eventually. Vera was ours and ours alone. She was my daughter and she was dead. Carlisle and I stood up and I embraced Edward. Rosalie was clinging to Emmett as if her life depended on his support.

"Right before she died, she spoke to Carlisle and I alone." Emmett spoke in a much quieter tone than usual. "She made us promise… She made us promise to…" He shook his head unable to finish and hugged Rosalie tighter.

"She made us promise to be strong and to take care of you and Rosalie. She said that you two would take her passing the hardest." My husband finished for our son. I hid my face in my husband's shoulder.

"She wanted me to make sure that we all knew that she loved us. She was so terrified that we would forget her. She didn't want to be forgotten." Edward leaned against the door frame for support.

"I know we weren't as close to her as the rest of you, but we miss her as well. Every time I see a scarf, I think of her." Alice spoke for herself and Jasper.

"Every time I look in the mirror, I don't see me- I see _her_." Rosalie sobbed. "I see the wig she loved so much, I see the paleness of her skin, and I see the dark circles under her eyes. Every time I think about the Vera from my humanity, I think of the Vera who was my sister, and like a daughter to me. Why couldn't we have changed her? Why couldn't she still be here?" My own sobs had returned.

"She didn't want to kill anyone, ever. She was so caring. We couldn't have guaranteed her that she wouldn't be the cause of someone's demise if she became one of us. It is not what she would have wanted." Carlisle told Rosalie.

"She was so timid, yet so honest when I met her. She was afraid to let herself believe that she could be loved." I smiled a little at the memory.

"She wouldn't want us to be crying today. She would want us to be happy." Rosalie wiped away nonexistent tears as she spoke. I took a deep breath the way Vera always had, before taking the dress from the hanger. Everyone but Carlisle had left the room. I put on the dress slowly and allowed Carlisle to zip the zipper for me.

"You are an amazing mother." He whispered in my ear. I turned to face him.

"And you are an incredible father." I looked at myself in the mirror and almost broke down again. All I could picture was the smile on Vera's face when she first saw me in this dress. She had been confident that I would wear it to Edward's wedding one day. Today was that day. "Our son is all grown up." I told Carlisle.

"He may be grown, but he still needs us. They all need us, just as we need them." He kissed me chastely. It had been less than three minutes since I had first opened the closet door, but it felt like a small lifetime. My heart ached, as it always would, for the loss of my two children. Today was a day of joy, though. Today we were celebrating life, happiness, and love.

"I love you, baby." I whispered to the ceiling. I could hear the guests congregating down the stairs and knew it was time for me to put the sadness aside. Carlisle, my strength, wrapped his arm around me securely and led me to where our guests were waiting. It was easy for me to smile, even in the absence of my daughter, because she was still with us. She was everywhere around us and inside our hearts.


	14. Bella Learns and All Remember

Renesmee came running into the living room. Though she was hardly two years old, she had the appearance of a twelve year old.

"Look what I found Mom!" She exclaimed. We all looked at her and gasped, all of us except Bella. "These old clothes are just my size." I had to swallow back my anger at my darling grandchild.

"Nessie, where did you find those?" Bella asked. Carlisle flew across the room and placed his hands on my shoulders. With his eyes he instructed me to stay calm.

"They were in a box in the closet, in the attic." Bella looked around the room at all of our startled expressions.

"Ness, honey, would you please go put them back exactly how you found them?" Edward asked with authority.

"Yes sir." She said questioningly and turned to leave.

"Carefully!" I couldn't help but to shout after her. She had the box of Vera's things. She didn't have much, but we had kept all of her belongings after she died. Bella looked at me and then at everyone else. Finally her eyes landed on Edward and I knew what question she was about to ask.

"Tell her." I whispered to my youngest and oldest son. He nodded and turned to Bella. We all sat down on the couches and I closed my eyes as I leaned on my husband.

"This isn't going to be an easy story for us to tell, but I want you to know." Edward started, choosing his words carefully. "In the town we lived in before Forks, something happened. We met a girl who changed our lives forever." He paused to gather his thoughts.

"Vera?" Bella asked and my eyes flew open. "I remember hearing you talk to her once, I think. I never asked about her because I could tell that it upset all of you." I held Carlisle's hand tightly.

"Yes, Vera. Though, when we first met her, her name was Iona. Iona was a cancer patient at the hospital Carlisle worked at. She was only sixteen, and had advanced stomach cancer. Carlisle wasn't her regular doctor, but her doctor was sick on the day that Iona had to be told that she was dying. Carlisle was handling the ill doctor's patients, and had to be the one to tell Iona that she only had a few weeks to live. She informed Carlisle that her one last wish was to have a family." Edward took a deep breath and looked out the window for a minute. I didn't know how he was telling the story- I was crying just hearing it. "Iona was a foster child. Her mother had given her up at birth. We later discovered that Iona had older and younger siblings; I have no idea why her mother gave her away. Anyways, Carlisle came home and told us of the girl who wanted a family." Edward stopped again and smiled sadly. "Esme and Alice heard about this and wanted to meet the girl of course. Esme ended up spending most of the day with her, discovering that she was connected to our family in an unbelievable way." He looked at Rose, silently asking her to continue the story.

"Bella, do you remember my story?" Rosalie asked Bella quietly. Bella nodded in response. "I told you the night that I was changed I was leaving my friend Vera's house, and that Vera had a son named Henry. Well, Iona was Henry's granddaughter. Iona was fascinated by the story of Rose and Vera, two best friends. So she chose to change her name to Vera Rose. She told _me that she had been waiting for Rose to come and save her from foster care._" Rosalie was crying as she finished her sentence. "She had waited sixteen years for me to come and rescue her. I should have come sooner. Gosh, and she looked just like little Henry had. She had the same dimples when she smiled… She looked a lot like Emmett. And her hair… her hair was… I…." Rosalie couldn't finish. I took a slow deep breath and began talking.

"She couldn't believe that anyone could possibly love her, but she wanted it so badly. We took her home with us and gave her a nice room to stay in. We did our best to take care of her and make sure she knew that she was loved. Vera was very insecure about her illness and the way she looked because of it. She was thin as a rail with almost no hair and dark circles under her eyes. She was especially insecure about letting anyone see her head, so Rosalie cut her hair and had a wig made for Vera. In all my years of life, I have never seen anyone so happy as when she was given that wig. She never took it off, and told us to bury her wearing it." Edward took over for me again.

"Her biggest fear was that she would die alone. I can't explain how she knew she was dying, but she just knew. We were all there when it happened. Rosalie and Esme held her in their arms until her heart stopped beating. She told me, with her thoughts, to make sure everyone knew how much she loved them. But honestly, the thing about her that stands out the most to me was how much she talked and thought about you." Bella gasped.

"Me? How did she know about me if we hadn't met yet?" Bella asked Edward.

"She took note of the fact that I was the only unmarried Cullen, and was thoroughly convinced that I would find you. She even picked out the dress Esme wore to our wedding. She said that if you were to mistreat me that she would come back and haunt you from the grave." Edward kissed the top of his wife's head.

"Why didn't you just change her?" Bella asked.

"She wasn't willing to risk the possibility of killing anyone to become immortal. She didn't know that we are vampires, but she knew we aren't completely human." I closed my eyes for a moment.

"I love her. I miss her so much. I miss her every day." I whispered and an eerie wind blew across the room, tossing Rosalie's beautiful golden locks all around, and then finally stopping as it hit me. We all noticed it, but no one spoke for a long time.

"We know you love us too." Alice whispered to the empty space in front of me. Renesmee returned to the room and we continued our day as if nothing had changed, but every once in a while I would hear one of us whispering to her. Maybe she was there, and maybe she wasn't. But sometimes I could almost feel how much she loved me, and that is when I would whisper a few quiet words to her. Eventually Edward found an old photo album and showed Bella pictures of the girl who had changed our lives. She made Emmett more of a jokester, Jasper more trusting of himself, Alice more understanding when it came to other's opinions, Edward more compassionate, and Rosalie more maternal and kind. She taught Carlisle and me what it truly meant to be a parent: to love a child and to put their needs before our own. We both had wanted to change her, but it was not what she had wanted. She didn't want to become a monster. Instead she became our angel. She would never be forgotten.


End file.
